This is a picture, drawn by Snuggles, depicting what he thinks he looks like when he's so angry that he "loses control". Scary, isn't it?
How does his body feel?
Tense and my Forehead hurts
What does he do?
Screaming
Hitting things
Bad Words
What Does he say?
Cheeky (i.e. he gets cheeky with mum)
The above forms part of the page he completed, to start The Incredible 5 Point Scale that we're currently working on:

We now call this being a 5. Insightful .... Isn't it? And I'd never have known if I didn't start this with him.
We've done three sessions so far. I commenced with the "Feeling Angry" Social Story that I bought from Sandbox last year. The good news is that we had to amend it as the things that made him angry then, no longer do so now.
The bad news is, it had to be introduced without much planning ........ a sort of emergency.
We've had about three very angry outbursts in about ten days. Although short lived they were quite ferocious.
The first one happened on our third day in Legoland. I really didn't think I'd have the nerve to blog about this but it wasn't a one-off and I'm now doing something about it, so I feel better.
I had a bit of an Epiphany in Legoland that day. You see when your child "only" has PDD NOS you're constantly in doubt.
Constantly comparing him to his peers.
Constantly being told that "all boys are like that".
Constantly struggling with question marks over his diagnosis. Why do I keep doing this to myself??
So that day, our third day of walking around a theme park for 6 hours, I noticed he seemed a little giddier than usual. Just a little. ( thinking now that maybe that's being a 2?)Walking ahead of us with my cousin's 9 yr old. Kicking stones etc. Not listening when I told him to "stay in" (he has this awful compunction to walk right on the edge of the footpath....always) J listened when he was told. But Snuggles didn't. I guess oppositional was the word.
I looked at him and had a scary thought. He's acting like a bored, couldn't-be-arsed teenager. He's gonna grow up to be the guy who always finds himself in trouble...kicking stones....kicking cans....hanging out at street corners being rude to passerbys etc.
He had had a build up of little difficult situations that day. Build your own lego robot for example... then he wasn't allowed buy the HUGE Lego toy he wanted!
So, when we got back to the Hotel room they were allowed make their lego toy. While we had a must needed rest before dinner.
I really don't think it ws too much to ask for. Just 30 minutes to relax.
Well, it all kicked off 'cos things weren't working out for him. I got firm with him then ignored him (I was sooo tired).,Big Mistake.
Then I got really annoyed with him. Another Big Mistake.
It was brief and I calmed down. He didn't though .I had to prise his fingers off the door to get him out of the tiny room and into the tiny bathroom. Just to put some space between us and the other two.
God, it was awful. He screamed, hit me, called me names... bitch, worst mother in the world etc, etc.
And they heard all this.
I was so upset. So was he.
Then the storm abated. And we came out.
We all pretended it didn't happen and got on with our evening. The pink elephant that never was. It was mentioned briefly, I just didn't want to talk about it. What they made of it I do not know. But I think she , my cousin, handled it very well. She knew not to talk about it to me.... she "gets it".
The next angry outburst was over homework (maths, Division in particular being the culprit.)And the last one was whilst playing Mario Galaxy and the game wasn't working out for him. Very similar to before....saying awful things to me etc, etc.
But I stayed very calm this time.
And firm.
I imposed a 30 minute ban on all things with a screen! And policed it with vigilance! He knew I meant business!
While I was doing this I also ran around trying to gather all the bits I knew I had somewhere. I had been planning a Social Story but wasn't quite sure where to begin. Now I had no choice. This is getting serious. Straight to 5 point plan I thought. Not having the support of a Clinical Team for the first time, it's now down to me. And I have to start now...right now.
So I quickly planned how to broach the subject with him and structure our first session. All the while he was clock-watching to check when the 30 minutes was up!
He's a verbal child with great comprehension so we had a chat. I explained about anger and losing control and how upsetting it is for him and that I'd like to help him with that. So far, so good. Phew!! He seemed interested.
We did two more sessions. I planned what I would do and set up a Reward Chart.

He worked really hard for Marshmallows or Pringle crisps!

The next day I talked to his S.N.A. Angel (thanks for the term Hammie!) and straight away she did up some colour-coded cards numbered 1 - 5! I suggested and she agreed that the best way to do it is , after we've established each point on the scale we'd get him to check in with her at regular intervals during the school day. He will rate himself i.e "I think I'm a 1" and S.N.A. will remind him what he needs to do to help himself. I, of course will do the same at home.

The idea of course is that he will learn the life skills required to regulate his emotions himself. He will not be that couldn't-be-arsed-getting-into-trouble-teenager. NO WAY!
So far we've established a 5, 1 and some of 2! and our chart looks like this:

We discovered what 1 was when he spontaneously came to me and said "Mum, I feel so happy and relaxed"!! Aww!
See....he's a Sweetheart really. I so hate to see him so angry and say such awful things.
After his last outburst I told him I loved him when I was putting him to bed. The next morning he voluntarily(!) said, in his best little boy voice....."I Love you mummy"
That makes it all worthwhile.
Apart from that, I get a kind of sense of relief from him. I'm sure he doesn't want to be like that either. I think that's why he's happy to do the work. So far, anyway! The biggest thing I've learned from it is the simple, basic reason for all three outbursts.
He didn't just get angry at the Lego pieces not working out.
He didn't just get angry because he couldn't do Division.
And he didn't just get angry because he was losing the Mario game.
The common denominator in all three episodes was........ "It's so unfair....it's extremely unfair mum"
In other words A rigid sense of fairness. There ya go.
I feel vindicated.
Why do I always have to be vindicated??
C'est la.
Sin e.
I'm off to Spain in the morning (YIPPEE!!!) and I shall spend some time "observing" and establishing nos. 3 and 4!! Hope there's not too many outbursts!
Night night! xx J







Amelienborg..... the Danish Royal Residence 

Sitting Bull




Cool Hat too .... if you look close you'll see the Lego Man attached to the top!!


