Jazzygal

Wordless Wednesday (Almost): The Cat, The Budgie and the Fish.

2012-02-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

What?......

I'm thirsty.......

And now I'm HUNGRY....

But...it's so warm and cosy here......

Aww....Do I HAVE to go out?..... (YES, you do!)

Can I play too?

Um.... I don't think you're doing that right....

Here... let me show you......

I taut I taw a puddy tat.....
I DID....I DID...

Don't worry Sunny...... The cat's in the bag ;-)

xx

The Clear-Out

2012-01-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

I nearly had a panic attack the other day.

I was sifting through my inbox and dumping all my non-important emails to' trash'. As you do. Unknownst to myself, I somehow managed to hit the 'check all items' button which, of course, did exactly what it said on the tin. I then immediately hit the 'delete' button and all my emails went to 'trash'. All of them, every last single one. Disaster!

See, I have a lot of stuff in my inbox. I have some emails I haven't even opened yet because I know roughly what's in them and like, they're important. Or they might be important. Some day.

Then I have lots of emails that I keep' just in case'. I mean you never know when I may need that information, or need to contact that person again.

Lord forbid I'd move them to 'personal' or create a folder for them.

And now for the confession, just so you realise quite how bad I am..... some of my emails in my inbox.....are you ready for this? Really? Okay, some of the emails in my inbox go back as far as 2010. There may even have been a couple from 2009!

I panicked at the thought of all my potentially important and might-some-day-in-the-far-away-future-be- important stuff being trashed. So to speak.

Plus the fact that the reason I was going through my emails in the first place was to find one that I got from someone last year because now that information was important and I needed to contact her again. See.... it does happen!

I also panicked because I knew I'd now have to check my 'trash' folder.

And I couldn't remember the last time I'd 'emptied trash' .

See, even though I may send emails to 'trash' I wait a while before I empty it. 'Cos I just might still need them. Ya get me?

So, in I went to 'trash' to see if I could find the desired email amongst the sea of abandoned twitter and facebook notifications.

There were a lot of abandoned emails in there. In fact it wasn't a sea, it was more of an ocean.

I eventually skimmed through to see exactly how many there were.

I had 1732 emails in my ocean of 'trash'. 1732, people!

And I wonder why my laptop is slow sometimes??

I eventually found my proverbial needle in a haystack. Thankfully I had a brainwave and searched a relatively smaller haystack instead. My 'sent' folder!

Once I overcame the initial panic I found I quite liked the new clean look of my almost empty inbox.

I kept opening it, just to admire it.

And I've kept it that way. I've only 12 in it now. Although, admittedly I still haven't emptied 'trash'. There must be 2000 in there now.

It was kind of easy in the end really.

Clearing out stuff, even if it is only an accidental clear-out, is quite therapeutic. It can also be applied to other areas of my life, I reckon.

I have kept all sorts of stuff in my house 'just in case' , that also needs a clear-out.. accidental or otherwise,

My head is also a disorganised mess of memorabilia.

We won't go there though, that's best left to another day.
.
Sigh....

xx

Note: Image credit to bit.therapy.com

The Reluctant Shopping Mission

2012-01-22T14:16:00.000-08:00

We woke up this crisp, sunny but windy Sunday morning and I sleepily wondered what we'd do today. After a very full and extremely hectic week this was Sunday, a day of rest per our Good Lord, yet I somehow got it into my head that today was the day we'd go shopping for my pre-teen's Confirmation clothes. Oh, Good Lord....

My boy DETESTS clothes shopping and believe me, I'm also a very reluctant shopper. I find it very interesting at this point to note that the auto-checker chose the word 'sniper' instead of 'shopper' in my last sentence. Remember that.

So, I played the usual battle of wits in order to extricate him from his current ~~infatuation~~ interest that is Minecraft and to brush his teeth so we could take the first step in today's ~~ordeal~~ journey..... and simply leave the house!

Getting to town on the Dart was, thankfully, uneventful and we then executed the next part of my ~~rushed~~ carefully thought out plan. We hit my highly considered one-stop-shop, which would hopefully contain everything we needed, and went into Arnotts. The shop we went to for his Communion clothes. It worked 3 and a half years ago so it should work now. Right?

Well, 3 and a half years ago he was only 8 and now my pre-teener is all of 12 years old. Have you recently gone shopping for pre-teen and teenage boys?? The limited choices are shocking. Seriously, if I had any kind of an entrepreneurial brain in my head I would exploit this niche in the market. And I'd expand it to include toiletry products for this totally ignored socio-economic group.

Anyway we, stupidly as it turned out, headed for the children's department to search through their limited stock for his age group. And this is where the Reluctant Shopper in me showed it's true self. Oh good God, all those rails of clothes to organize and plan a search through. Disorganized Jazzy here cannot cope with that at all. So I approached an unsuspecting salesgirl and imperceptibly turned her into my personal shopper. Good thinking, eh?

We managed to find a shirt but not trousers. Note: the ultimate aim of this foray into the sensorally challenging environment that is town was to find appropriate, yet not too casual attire, that felt 'comfty' to my very perceptive son. The Levis shirt in soft brushed cotton fit the bill and was at a very good January Sale price;-) As was another Timberland top. We bought both, just in case like.

As we didn't find trousers we failed in the other aim of our mission, that to try on any choices as quickly as possible in order to get the hell out of there in double quick time.

That meant a further search which I limited to the same shop and we headed downstairs to the Men's Department, in the vain hope we'd find something suitable. In double-quick time. Tick Tock....

Oh God. Downstairs was a nightmare menage of multiple Men's Concession shops spread far and wide. What to do? Neither of us could cope with that at all. Tick Tock.... Suddenly I remembered one trendy shop in the many my personal shopper mentioned and we headed further downstairs, to Top Shop. And there I found me another Personal Shopper! I'm getting good at this, I thought to myself! My boy played a blinder and tried on everything whilst amusing me with some posing in front of the mirror. I don't know where he got that from, honestly!!

I am very pleased to announce that we completely finished the job in this shop and accomplished all the aims of our Reluctant Shopping Mission. In double quick time.

Until stressed out teen decided he needed to go to the bathroom. In the multi-storied Arnotts.

Dear Arnotts:Why did you put your bathrooms in the furthest, upper-most corners of your store? And what were you thinking when you put the Men's and Women's bathrooms on different floors??? Good Lord. That was almost the straw that broke the camel's back for us two Reluctant Shoppers. Shopping is very stressful for parents and children with ASD you know. We were very close to a serious meltdown of epic proportions and you should know that I would have held you personally responsible for the outcome. I mean, How on earth do you expect a 12 year old to survive the trauma of seeing his mother rolling on the floor screaming her head off like in that supermarket ad??? Where's that 'sniper' when you need one, eh???

Ahem.... moving swiftly on....

On to treat shopping in his favoured Game Stop shop to disappointingly find nothing of interest. Feeling very sorry for himself we headed off for yummy pizza to end our stressful, yet successful shopping trip. On the way we came across a very interesting shop that we'd never heard of before.... Games Workshop. Wow, it looked like a lot of fun, so in we went and were given a trial run! This is live soldier/fantasy type games we're talking about here. With tiny characters you buy and paint yourself. Yeah, a real game played in real life and not on a screen. Yay! They have workshops every Sunday and this is the only store in Ireland. It is an expensive hobby though as the starter kit for the Warhammer 40,000 costs €79. My boy has found a new ~~infatuation~~ interest it seems.....sigh.

Eventually we made it to the restaurant and we had a lovely meal and chat. It ended with true WiiBoy humour at desert ordering time, when he read the list of non-alcoholic drinks which was listed after the desert options. It went something like this...

WiiBoy: Look at that mum he said, giggling.

Me: What?

WiiBoy: 'Safe Sex on the Beach'....teeheehee.... I know what that means... teeheehee

Me: Really? .......(really'???....did I HAVE to say that??!)

WiiBoy: (Boy voice) I have the condom..... (Girl Voice) I have the pill...

Me: Silence....apart from splurting my wine.... everywhere!!!

Time to vacate the premises.

Oh, thank God this day is over!!

xx

Busy Times.....and an Award!

2012-01-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

As the Christmas Holidays came to an end it was increasingly obvious that it was time to return to school. I'd exhausted all excuses to get him off screens... and he'd exhausted all excuses to avoid going for a walk or going, well, anywhere. Anything from a pain in his side, or his big toe, to being weak all over was the usual. By the end of it all I had a pain too. In my backside!

In that vein we headed back into the mad routine of school runs, lunches, uniforms and extra-curricular activities and after just one week it's like we've never done anything else! I was a bit worried about the return to school as sadly, problems still persist. However, I think that my boy is showing his budding maturity and handling it all very well. And to top it all we ended the week really well as he had a play date with a 'new' friend AND received a certificate at weekly assembly, commending him for his hard work. Glorious words to a mother's ears......

Personally it's been a very hectic week as the return to school coincided with lengthy auditions and call-backs for our teen school musical: Footloose! What a busy, exciting and fulfilling week it has been! We have been blown away by the huge turn-out of some very polite, helpful and talented teenagers who have made our decision-making process very difficult indeed! I will never, EVER hear a bad word said against the 'teenagers of today'. Ever!

I see busy months and tons of multi-tasking in my immediate future, so I now take this opportunity to do some blogging multi-tasking right now! You see, the fabulously funny and entertaining Lizbeth over at Four Sea Stars has recently given me a blogging award!! It's been a while since I've gotten an award so my huge thanks to Lizbeth for tagging me with the Liebster Award, an award given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. I feel honoured 'cos I LOVE Lizbeth's blog!

Here are the rules:

Thank the person who gave you the award. DONE!
Link back to the Blogger (or Bloggers) who awarded you.Thanks again Lizbeth!!
Answer the following questions.
Pass the award out and victimize ten other Bloggers letting them know, of course, that you've nailed them. Ten?? Seriously??!!

And here are the questions to be answered:

Favourite Colour? Yellow, the colour of sunshine and happiness. I very rarely wear it but I do love it. It doesn't necessarily suit my skin tone, nor does it match my hair colour. My highlights are blonde...NOT yellow! For years my WiiBoy called blonde hair 'yellow hair'! When he was very young he pronounced it 'Lellow'! Sooo cute!

Favourite Animal? The wonderfully graceful Deer. I also like the ever graceful swans!

Favourite Number? Seven. Or, as Len Goodman from Strictly Come Dancing might say.... SE-VEN!!

Favourite Drink? Seriously? You mean there are people out there who don't know my favourite drink? Eh..... WINE! And the colour of it don't matter too much either ;-)

Facebook or Twitter? Ooh, now this is tricky. I have many friends on both and I love both for different reasons. Can I plead the 5th on this?? On the grounds that I may seriously incriminate myself and be 'unfollowed' and 'unliked' in droves?? You wouldn't wish that on me, now would you? Especially with me having a BIG birthday looming??

Moving swiftly on....

My Passion? Dance, shows and instilling the love of live musical theatre on the younger generation to keep this genre ALIVE. I've also been known to get passionate about Special Needs and Autism...and about Special Needs Assistants in particular. Oh, and don't get me started on current affairs and the State of our nation!! Guess I'm a multi-faceted, multi-tasking mad and almost pentagenarian woman!!

Giving or Getting Presents? Well, I DO like to give presents. I really like it when I've made the right choice for someone and given them something that I know they'll love. Of course, I really, REALLY like receiving them too. Did I mention that I have a BIG birthday looming????

Favourite Day? Friday. I've always loved Fridays as they herald the end of the working week. Not that it matters now that I'm a SAHM! But now I have FB (facebook) Friday to look forward to ;-) And that's one reason I can't choose between facebook and twitter!! Both do very good Friday nights ;-)

Favourite Flower? Lillies. Beautiful, graceful flowers with a gorgeous scent. Of course I love ANY flowers I'm given as it doesn't happen too often!

And now it's my turn to pass this lovely award on to some lovely bloggers. here goes...

The fabulous Looking for Blue Sky who's writing I adore. She's also my blogger and real life pal who also happens to have a BIG birthday looming this year!
The lovely and very interesting Midlife Singlemum who writes an intriguing blog and who also happens to have a BIG birthday looming this year!
The lovely Di who tells her story in an up-beat and bubbly manner over at The Bright Side of Life.
The also lovely Deb over at Aspie in the family who writes some very interesting and important posts.
The fascinating Emma who has moved from Scandinavian Sojourn to Bavarian Sojourn and intrigues us withe her tales!

I look forward to your responses if you choose to do it....absolutely no worries or pressure if you choose not to!

As I've said I have an extremely busy couple of months ahead of me, so my blogging activity will be somewhat curtailed. l will try to visit you all as much as I can and there may be quite a few Wordless Wednesdays and Silent Sunday posts from me in the meantime! Please don't forget me.... I haven't gone away for good you know ;-)

xx

Wordless Wednesday: Darn that Pretty Cat....

2012-01-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

The #50club....

2012-01-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

This week my son and I had a lovely day out, in a very cold, blustery Dublin Zoo, with Looking For Blue Sky and her son,. Later on we got to talking and the subject of our forthcoming 50th birthdays this year came up. We both thought that there seemed to be quite a lot of people in the same boat as us and wondered if we should try to organise something?

I then wrote my New Regime..... or Middle Aged Meltdown post as it had been in my head to do, and I just casually threw in about the big birthday.... to see if anyone would bite! Midlife Singlemum was straight in there (in the comments section) mentioning a possible #50club, which raised an immediate Oh YES from me and the same from others, when posted on twitter! Looking for Blue Sky started some recruiting and there would appear to be some interest!

1962 was a very special year it seems!

We are in good company you know, with Bon Jovie, Sheryl Crow and Jody Foster also celebrating their 50ths.

In Ireland we have Pauline McLynn, Anne Enright, Ray Houghton, Tony Cascarino, Eddie Hobbs, Dan Boyle and Cyprian Brady among others also celebrating!

Even our National broadcaster, RTE, is joining in with their 50th anniversary this year!

In good company indeed!

So, what are we going to do about it?

I mean, turning 50 is a big thing you know. It can be scary.... traumatic even, some may claim! I reckon we can either bury our heads in the sand or get ourselves out there and celebrate. In style!

Blue Sky and I think we might become leading pioneers and start a #50club and see who wants to join us in our celebrations! We will share it on our blogs, on twitter and facebook and see what happens. Maybe a meet up? A virtual party? Both?

Maybe we'll even have badges to sport: in real life and/or on our various profiles?!

Whatever happens there's bound to be lots of wine. There may even be champagne!

If you're interested leave us a comment below with your birthday date, where you're from and suggestions!

Let us start the ball rolling....

My birthday will be Feb 14th

Blue Sky's is June 20th and we're both in Dublin.

So, you wanna be in our gang??!!

Look forward to hearing from you, if so!!

Let's show 'em how it's done ;-)

xx

New Regime..... or Middle-Aged Meltdown?

2012-01-03T15:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here we are at the start of another New Year and Jazzy here feels like making some changes.

Not resolutions, you understand. Dear God no. Resolutions are only made to be broken so I am NOT making any New Years' Resolutions. Instead I'm making some positive life-enhancing changes. That I'll stick to. This time.

Stoppit, no laughing now... you hear?!!

A girl doesn't stay the same age forever you know so she has to take some steps, to take control you see. Besides, the month of December has been a month of over-indulging and it's now time for reparation.

Step 1

This new Jazzy is cutting back on food and alcohol intake. Jazzy doesn't do 'diets' either. Instead, she is now going to take control of intake and portion sizes;-)

In fairness, I have done very well in this area from September to early December and after recent health checks it seems my cholesterol is high so this is a necessary positive life-enhancing change!

Step 2

I'm embarking on a healthy regime of food supplements to help reduce my cholesterol and to help support pulmonary/respiratory function (in addition to inhaler.) I'm also taking multi-vitamins and Vitamin C. My infamous cough from hell may, to put it simply.... GO TO HELL! Finally.

Unlike previous occasions these supplements will be taken daily, EVERY day and my medicine cabinet will NOT contain half-used out-of-date capsule containers, that end up in the bin!

Step 3

As I have a very busy start to the New Year with our involvement in a local school musical (ooh, I'm SO excited to be teaching dancing again!) I have reason to implement my next step. That of being more organised. In this regard I have started making entries into my Diary. Not just upcoming appointments etc but daily to-do-lists.

This WILL be adhered to, to keep me on track and to reduce stress. It doesn't matter if I don't complete my schedule each day (like today...oops!) it will help prioritise and ensure it gets done the next day. Or the day after! Well, that's an improvement in not getting it done at all!

I may even get all high hi-tech and use my iTouch calender App!! Doh....

Step 4

Be in bed by midnight at the latest. Mid-week nights, at least! Eeeek...would ya look at the time? Better get me skates on and finish this post!

Step 5

Stay positive, banish all stress inducing thoughts. Easier said than done at times!

Step 6

Have fun and don't get too bogged down by ANY of the above;-)

Already off to a good start by celebrating getting this written with a cup of hot chocolate! Well, a girl's gotta get her daily calcium somehow! Skimmed, of course and better than having a mid-week glass of wine ;-)

It feels good to be in control and to make such positive changes. It's important to me right now it seems, as I face a big birthday next month. It is quickly becoming very scary to be facing turning 50. Good God, how on earth did that happen? Not only that but I will also be taking early retirement at the same time, so I'll officially be a pe..... a pen ...a pensi... a.... a..... no,... sorry, can't say it. Won't say it. Won't BE it!

I'm far too young, with WAY too much energy for that!

No, I'll survive this by taking control, being positive and by celebrating!! Only way I know how to do it ;-)

It's only day 3 of this new regime and God knows how long I'll last BUT, if I stick to it and keep up the exercise and dancing I hope to be able to do this when I'M 70......

In WAY cooler heels....

xx

Happy New Year!

2011-12-30T17:06:00.000-08:00

The year 2011 is coming to a close and I look forward, as always, to ringing in a brand New Year.
It's a chance to start afresh, with plans and best intentions to do things better. Or differently, perhaps.
It's a chance to look back, at the year we're leaving behind and maybe rejoice at the positive and learn from the rest.

On a personal level our year gave us a lot to be happy about and grateful for.
Although our local Panto of 15 years standing is no longer we remember the joy it gave to many over the years.
It will be missed by many but mostly by the local community.

We enjoyed a holiday, many outings and lovely times spent with friends.
We proudly watched our son grow up some more this year.
We reminisced about our missing dog and welcomed a puppy to our home, for a short while.

We dealt with problems that came our way.
They seemed big at the time yet have faded into the memory banks now.
We narrowly avoided another house flooding and were reminded of the wonderful local community we have.

We got together to fight to protect our homes.
Our special needs community got together to fight against drastic SNA cuts.
I fought that battle here on my blog and on a radio station.
My small contribution to this ongoing issue.

On a National level it's been a tough year.
Our Government does everything our European counterparts ask, while we the people suffer the effects.
Globally things are worsening , yet no thanks or relief is offered to our abiding nation.

We had some good times too with visits from the Queen and Barack Obama.
We had fun watching Jedward 'robbed' of a Eurovision win!
We rejoiced in Ireland's soccer team qualifying for Euro 2012.

May 2012 be a good year for us personally and nationally.
May we realise the value of our local communities and treasure them.
May we finally realise that we the people are on the same side.
Although the grass may seem greener on the other side, it very rarely is.

May 2012 be the year we come together as one, strong nation and effect change.
May Ireland put the ball into the other team's net!
May our streets be covered in green and our ears ring with sounds of Ole Ole Ole....Ole, Ole!

Lets go forward to 2012 with strength and positivity.

A very Happy New Year to you all.

Now, let's ring those bells and welcome in 2012.

xx

Note: Photo credit to flicker.com

Christmas Catch Up...

2011-12-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a lovely Christmas here at Chez Jazzy. we spent the day itself with family and have been just hanging out ever since. Which is kind of nice, given the mayhem that came beforehand! Will I never learn? I even took a break from all online activity.... go on, pick your jaw back up off the floor! Yes, I can do it! I find It's very hard to get back into when you do though!

By the way, I DID rock that red dress in the post linked to above! However, I will need to lose a few Christmas lbs before I dare rock it again! I had a great night out that night, and as I watched my almost 70 year old relative (and her 60/70+ year old friends) I vowed to be just like them, when I grow up ;-)

Since my ode to my birthday boy we've had his birthday party just before Christmas Day. As he just couldn't wait any longer, the 'most specialist boy in the world got his most specialist birthday present' two days beforehand.....

The coolest laptop..... Red, of course!

And his party, even though it was a very small one (at his insistence) it was also a very successful one. Thank God! He loved it and wants the same again next year. Turns out small parties are the best! How very grown up....

I was all set this year to enjoy the last magical year that Santa will visit this house and hoped that no-one would tell him in the last few days! I know he's very grown up my WiiBoy, but he still believes and I'm not ready to lose the magic of Santa just yet. So, even though I forgot to leave out goodies for Santa and Rudolph, he still came with all the requested xbox- related gifts and a very non-fizzy Soda Stream , of all things! Turns out it takes more than a soda stream to put the fizz in MY drinks ;-) I was woken up at the unearthly hour of 2.15am to go check if Santa had arrived and my boy was very happy indeed that he had, but he was notably not ecstatic. See, he IS growing up..... sigh. I'll have to tell him!

Unfortunately we had problems renewing Xboxlive on Christmas Day. He entered the code and nothing happened. Thinking it might take a few hours to activate the code we were disappointed to see it unresolved when we checked again the following day. But, never fear, the wonderful helpers @XboxSupport were there to guide us to a successful outcome. Except that, despite their best efforts, they couldn't and we had to phone the support phone line today. In the course of that conversation I copped that he'd only scratched off one code (for the free gift) and not the other one! How embarrassing! Also in the course of that conversation I was asked where did you buy the card? You can guess what happened next, can't you?

See, the correct answer would have been 'Santa brought it' with the right inflection in my voice on the word Santa, instead of a wink, to relay that a certain 12 year old was standing right beside me. But, oh no, I totally forgot and answered honestly. He responded immediately... 'WHAT??... you bought it??....but....but...'

Oh crap...

Still, I had said before Christmas that I would tell him before he went back to school as most of his classmates will probably know anyway. So, this is actually good timing. Get it over and done with. Time to 'fess up. Right?

So, after some time he comes and asks me about it again and I braced myself to tell the truth, turned to him and....... lied!!

Oh crappity, crappity, crap crap!!

I've really messed up now!

And he's going to a birthday party tomorrow. I could land myself in some very hot water yet!

Or, it may all just work itself out? Before secondary school starts would be nice!

Meanwhile, we have some fun events and meet-ups planned to keep us occupied for the rest of the Christmas holidays.

And we have a Christmas cat that seems to have adopted us. She's gorgeous....

She can't stay though as she kinda likes Sunny, our budgie...

.No, he's NOT on the dinner menu no matter how cute the strays that keep calling here are!

Is there a sign on our door I wonder?

The Jazzy Animal Rescue Shelter.... only cute animals need apply !!

I'd better take it down before the next visitor arrives!

xx

Twelve Candles

2011-12-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

Twelve Candles to celebrate

Each year of your life,

May your birthday today

Bring you joy, no strife.

From baby to pre-teen

You've journeyed through life's maze,

And are becoming a unique person

That never ceases to amaze.

Twelve badges of honour

Earned in your Game of Life to date,

Each step of the way

Strewn with your many amusing traits.

You're funny, witty and

An entertainer of girls,

You can be serious and mature

With flashes of wisdom like pearls.

You're creative, a thinker and

Your ideas can make me step back,

Then you break into one of your funny acts

That really, really make me laugh!

You're a son in a million

And a good friend too,

Go on with your life's journey,

Holding your head high as you do.

Happy Birthday son!

This was written for my son's 12th birthday, 22nd December 2011

Lights Out

2011-12-19T23:39:00.001-08:00

Friday night 8pm and considering options for a non-screen family night in.

What to do, what to do?

Head for sitting room to encourage co-operation from son,

Thinking, thinking...

When suddenly the lights go out and the whole house is pitched into an inky blackness.

Somewhere outside house alarms are pealing in competition and the neighborhood is completely shrouded by the black dark.

What to do, what to do?

Initial shock is replaced with excitement of the relative rarity of the occasion, as we plan...

What to do, what to do!

Candles are quickly sourced and lit with the help of the battery operated Christmas decoration lights.

A fun Lego-man torch is found and the fun begins..

We three snuggle in our snuggies on the sofa whispering quietly in the magical candlelit darkness.

We make silly shadows in the wall courtesy of Mr Lego-Man.

We three become two as one leaves the party to head out through the dark night.

Now, what to do, what to do?

It's quickly becoming colder so we snuggle deeper in our snuggies.

Shall we tell scary stories? Make Them up ourselves perhaps?

No, son wants to hear stories of my 'old days',

Sigh.

I regale him as best I can and we chat about this and that.

It's getting very cold now so we decide to go to bed early. Mum and Dads bed tonight, for comfort and warmth.

We dive under the duvet in fleecy pajamas and place our snuggly snuggies over the bed.

We are quite cosy in the carefully candlelit bedroom.

We chat some more as we munch on Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers, learning that one does indeed lead to more.

The chat inevitably turns to the current favorite conversational topic.

He offers to build me a house and we discuss the choices I have.

A cosy cottage or a fort?

Oh, a cosy cottage I think.

Of red brick or wood?

Do you want some crops?

A crafting table?

Yes please,

There's probably no electricity in Minecraft world either.

I thank him for offering to build me this virtual house.

He's happy

I'm happy

No screens needed here for either of us.

Then suddenly, as unexpectedly as they left us, the lights return.

Intruding on the magic...

What to do, what to do?

That's easy...

We Turn off the lights, blow out the candles and stay in our cosy cocoon.

xx

NOTE: Image credit: canstockphoto.com

Stop This Christmas Rollercoaster... I Wanna Get off....NOW!

2011-12-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

This post is a quickly thrown together one in a manic attempt to explain my frantic life at the moment and my absence from blog writing and visiting. It is also a timid attempt at a humble apology for not being around much.

Oh, I do get stressed this time of year as I go about doing everybody's (and I do mean everybody's) Christmas shopping for them and really it's ridiculous. I mean I don't even have 175 ~~screaming~~ adorable Panto children to teach this year!

In fairness it has been a tough couple of weeks here. My infamous Asthmatic cough-from-hell came to visit again about a month ago and has totally outstayed it's welcome. Well, not that it was ever really welcome in the first place! It is a particularly persistent cough this time around and resistant to serious doses of inhaler and steroid tablets. It has warranted numerous trips to my very concerned GP who sent me for an urgent appointment with a good Consultant who prescribed an even more serious course of steroid tablets. I suspect I shall be sporting a beard by Christmas, a white one, and singing Ho, Ho, Ho in a very deep voice!. Hospital tests were organised and duly worried and fretted over. Good God, what a very scary couple of weeks. Totally stressed me out..... so much so that the consultant had to administer two doses of sedation and still I recall every minute of the bronchoscopy! The initial results are encouraging but the CT scan results are pending. I suspect some kind of lung infection to be honest. Fingers crossed PLEASE that it's no more than that.

On top of all of that my WiiBoy is having a very difficult time in school at the moment. He is upset and quite confused I think at this stage. He no longer knows how to deal with it all or the correct responses to give, as the traditional ones (that he's learned) are not working. My heart is breaking for him. I think it's even affecting his decision making as he only wants a very small birthday party next week which is quite unusual.

However, it's now my job to smooth the way and make next week the best one EVER. He wants a very special birthday present. So The Waiting Game has begun anew and sleeps are being counted to the day before his birthday. He can't possibly wait one day more as he must have it all up and running in time. The problem is there's no room in his bedroom for it. So, Jazzy here, the Queen of Disorganisation, got her messy head into his room today and somehow managed to change this...

To this.....

Now I know it may not look much but it took 2 hours to do the whole room and now there's room for the most specialist birthday present for the most specialist birthday boy in the world :-)

Obviously due to my illness I have missed a lot of Christmas shopping days and I'm stupidly panicking! Of course, now that I'm a bit better WiiBoy is now home sick from school!! Aaarrrggghhh. It was in this frame of mind that I headed out this evening to sort out the big birthday present, a coveted Santa goody and some other stuff. This Queen of Disorganisation even had a list! I also had a 'moment' on the way and nearly had myself an accident turning onto a busy road as I misread the traffic lights. I had words with myself....

Okay... that's it. No more. This is beyond ridiculous. NOTHING is worth this crap. It's only fecking Christmas for crying out loud. This is NOT what it's all about. Wake up Jazzy.... chillax. Your child still believes in Santa! How lucky are you?! You have one last year to enjoy the magic of a Santa believer! Don't screw it up and miss the magic. He also turns 12 next week, his last birthday as a pre-teener. You definitely don't wanna let that flit by you! Get a grip girl...

Right, back on track and in a much better frame of mind I arrived at the shops and in a very organised manner I got through said list and nailed the important stuff, in one hour . Look at the lead photo, that's 5 pressies wrapped under the tree now, finally!!Yessssss! There's lots more to be done and that will happen.....soon....whatever! Chillaxed, see?

I was a bit disappointed though as I had hoped to pay a quick visit to TK Max to buy a little number for a little overnight party I'm going to on Saturday night. Yes, I said overnight party!! Whoop! I sheepishly arrived at 8.55pm expecting a 9.00pm closing, but as I cheekily asked to go into the fitting room I was told closing was 9.30. Excellent.... there is a God! A quick dash back to the rails was made to secure more dresses to try on!

My previous chat with myself must have worked as I was in a much more positive frame of mind, trying on these lovely cheap dresses. Well, either that or I totally believed the lies that the skinny dressing room mirrors told me! Either way I had another 'moment' in that dressing room. And it was way more fun than my earlier one!!

You see *ahem*... I was trying on this sizzling, red hot, figure hugging little number when my favourite Christmas song came on over the speakers....just as I was zipping it up. Now, I challenge you to listen to this song and not do what I did....

Oh, how I wiggled, posed and pouted in my red hot dress in that dressing room!!! Oh, how I hoped there were no security cameras in there!! There's not... right??!

Oh, how I thought... I can't get away with wearing this? Can I?

The hell I can! I bought the damn dress and I don't care if I can't bring the skinny dressing room mirror with me on Saturday night I am gonna rock that dress, ya hear me? Rock it!

I wonder if they'll play my song at the party?

I hadn't had any wine in the dressing room, you know. Just saying, like.

All together now...

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me..
I've been an awful good girl,
Santa baby,
Hurry down the chimney tonight..

Oh yeah, Santa Baby...... BRING IT ON!!!

I can take it ;-)

xx

PS.. I will catch up on your blogs soon.... promise!

A Night to Remember....

2011-12-10T12:14:00.001-08:00

We had one of our traditional Christmas nights out last night, one that I look forward to each year as I get to catch up with some ex-work colleagues. My attendance could not be confirmed until the last minute, which meant a frantic search for a last minute sitter. An excellent one stepped up to the plate and as I drove him down to Grandad's house I thought, what a great opportunity for WiiBoy to spend some quality time with him. That thought sparked some spontaneous memory flashes, tripping through my brain as I drove...

Thinking of the many weekends I spent on sleepovers in my Nanny's house as a child. How we all loved our Nanny and adored our sleepovers with her, on our own or in small groups. A memory, like a Kodak moment popped into my brain.... four of us head-to-toe in a double bed with Nanny in the single bed beside us. The giggles as we chatted and teased each other! The laughter at my brother's antics, blessed as he was amongst us little women. Then we'd quieten down when she sang to us.... 'When the red, red robin goes bob, bob bobbing along....along...' (the clean version!) We'd join in in the chorus and then clamour for 'more, Nanny MORE...' And Nanny would continue to entertain us. We'd eventually fall asleep, really late. It was probably only 10pm but to us we felt we were awake for hours! Simple times... lovely memories.

Our Nanny was an amazing Dublin woman, a Liberties Lady who had a difficult life as she was widowed as a young mother of 9 children aged from 4 to 12 years old. Left to raise them in a 2 bed council house on a meagre soldier's pension. Not easy and we think we have it hard? She herself was born, in the early 1900s weighing an incredible and unheard of 15lbs, into a large family living in a flat in Dublin's Inner City. I always remember her telling us how, as a child, she heard the first gunfire shots when the 1916 rising started that Easter Monday....

With WiiBoy happily ensconced with Grandad and his dog I made the dash home to get ready and leave the house in double-quick time for my rendezvous with Mr Jazzy and co. We couldn't find the restaurant we were looking for and as we walked further down Dublin's Aungier Street we headed deeper into a Dublin Inner City area and even deeper still into the recesses of my memory banks....

As we passed by Whitefriar Street Church I was instantly brought back to more childhood occasions. I see my mother's uncle, my great-uncle K and my Nanny's brother-in-law; a tall old man full of character and stories and totally toothless, who lived in a flat down the lane beside the church with his sister. He was an amazing man who played Santa for my mother and her siblings every Christmas as there was no money for presents. He brought them to the Gaiety Theatre panto every year too. A tradition that was continued in time with us grand-children. I then thought of his sister, my Great-Aunt S, who was a seamstress in the very upmarket Switzers store on Dublin's Grafton Street. A very high profile job in those days. I can't remember her face now, she passed away well before him, but I do remember the clothes she made for us. Especially the dress and fur jacket she made for my December Holy Communion. I also remember how she was a very last-minute kinda gal, who apparently liked her tipple, and the panic as said dress was not delivered until the very night before my big day! Oh she was a character, our great Aunt S... I recall that she liked to sing and dance also ;-)

However, it was the church that held some special memories that I'd recently shared with my WiiBoy. Whitefriar Street church is where my mother would get the bus across town to every so often, just to get some of their Holy water. Whether she believed their holy water was holier than anywhere else's is anyone's guess! Whitefriar Street Church is also where the remains of St Valentine are held in a specially created shrine. Most years, on or near my St Valentine's Day birthday I'd be brought to pay my respects to my patron saint....and to get some more of their holier than thou Holy Water! Great -Uncle K ate his dinner out in a local cafe every day and I distinctly remember one birthday meal treat taking place in that recommended Diner. Turned out that calling it a Cafe or Diner was being way too generous. I reckoned, at that young age, as I waded my spoon through a bowl of soup swimming in grease, that the correct term for such an establishment was definitely a Greasy Spoon..... shudders. I did take a look for a dodgy looking cafe but it thankfully no longer exists!

We eventually found the very nice restaurant we were searching for and joined our party, where we had a lovely night reminiscing with friends.

I wondered, nay hoped, that we were setting up some special memories for WiiBoy too and maybe even a new tradition has begun for him.

A boy should spend some quality time with his Grandad.....

xx

Note: Photo credit: cliparttoday.com

Playing Nice.....

2011-12-06T01:28:00.001-08:00

Children and their friends. So important to play nice together, not to leave anyone out and to say you're sorry if you do something wrong.... adhere to the social rules, if you like. The foundation of life's lessons. The golden rule for parents of course is to never. ever. get. involved. EVER. Monitor from a distance but let them sort it out for themselves.

It's bloody hard at times though...

These social rules exist when playing outside at yard times, or on the road. Things go wrong, kids fall out and generally things get sorted pretty quickly. If they don't then there's usually an adult that sees or has heard what has happened and apologies can be 'elicited'.....and accepted and lessons can be learned.

Nowadays there are more ways for children to interact with each other as they play together on online forums, all from the comfort of their own homes. Like on xboxlive, for example. They get to play nice together, not leave anyone out and to say sorry if they do something wrong.... the social rules apply here too. Don't they?

Or do they.

Consider this.....

* At break time two children ask another to play football with them at lunchtime and the child says that he will. When lunchtime comes the child changes his mind and explains (nicely) that he no longer wants to play, he's playing with another child. Not very nice, as he previously agreed to play but what's the correct response from the boys? Do they grudgingly accept his apology and play with him again the next day or do they 'remove him as a friend' never to play with him again and refuse all apologies? It's likely that the former is the more usual response. If it isn't then it will soon be noticed in the class and perhaps teacher would intervene to encourage a more appropriate resolution.

* At break time two boys ask another boy to play online with them later that evening and he agrees. An unexpected (and rare) play date materialises and he has a friend over. He's asked to electronically 'join the party' but explains (nicely) that he doesn't want to right now...(his friend can't join in as he hasn't got a headset)...and the immediate response is to be 'removed as a friend' by both friends. All offers of apologies refused. For days.

Am I the only one who sees something inherently wrong in these scenarios?

Why is 'removing a friend' considered an immediate response to a relatively minor misdemeanor online when it wouldn't be so in real life play?

Do the children actually understand the function of 'removing a friend'? I'm assuming it's more for the child's own protection so they're not bullied by others.

Do children need to be specifically taught/reminded that social rules, as such, apply to all forms of play?

Should this issue be included in any school Assertiveness type talks?

I've had a chat with my son and he says that he never 'removes friends' like that. In fact one boy didn't accept his 'invite to join the party' once. He says he was annoyed about it but he accepted it and didn't 'remove him as a friend.'

Thank God, my boy gets it.

Yes, that's right.... the child with the alleged social skills deficit (when younger, clearly not now) gets it.

Does yours?

Or am I way out of line here?

xx

NOTE: Image credit clipartof.com

Waiting for Christmas....

2011-12-01T04:18:00.001-08:00

It's here. It's finally December. Time to face up to the encroaching madness of Christmas as the frantic countdown begins! I've admittedly being burying my head in the sand in this matter, not wanting to face up to all that has to be done. No more.... time to face the fear and do it anyway!

It's actually a strangely calming feeling now that it is December. I realise of course that I couldn't possibly have faced it all in November, sure that's way too soon to be even thinking of Christmas at all. Especially in the relatively balmy November weather conditions we enjoyed.

I kick start my Christmas-to-do-list every year by buying my Christmas cards, postage stamps and wrapping paper first. I don't know why but doing so makes me feel positively virtuous. Of course, it is always weeks before pen is put to card, stamp meets envelope or any presents are bought to complement the wrapping paper!

The other thing I buy first is a very important and by now totally traditional, item...... the Advent Calender.

And yes, our Advent Calender is always chocolate and I make no apologies for that!

My almost 12 year old boy awoke this morning and, knowing it was December 1st, got dressed in double-quick time as he guessed what awaited him downstairs.

You see to most, Advent Calenders are something that herald the oncoming spirit of Christmas and yes, I know, ideally they are not about chocolate at all.

To others though, the simple Advent Calender you see pictured above can be so much more....

It was about 7 years ago when I made this amazing discovery. As we all know delayed gratification is SO hard for children on the Autistic Spectrum and for those who 'get' Santa and all the present getting part, waiting four long weeks can be interminable. When you have a 5 year old who has not only to deal with waiting for Santa but also for his birthday three days previously, then you've got a problem of epic meltdown proportions on your hands!!

I got to thinking, 7 years ago, about how I could possibly solve this problem. I mean, we had schedules for daily activities, monthly activities, holidays, good behaviour... you name it and we had a schedule for it. Could I make up a special Christmas one I wondered? Then, whilst doing the weekly grocery shopping I noticed the very under-estimated Advent Calenders on the shelves and had a major Epiphany. No, there were no angels singing-on-high....well, maybe there were but if so they were singing about a possible peace in our little world as opposed to the greater world in general. I snapped up that chocolate calender and brought it home feeling very excited!

It was a huge success as my son took to it with interest and realisation. He could clearly 'see' what mum meant by saying 'we must wait' and the two important dates of the 22nd and 25th were clearly marked for him to work towards.

The Advent Calender became the Visual Christmas Schedule.

Of course, if he did 'good waiting' for the calender every morning then the chocolate piece became the token to reward the requested behaviour. Which in turn meant that he got a sticker or check mark on the weekly reward schedule.

The Advent Calender became the Reward Token for good behaviour.

Self-limiting, for various sensory and anxiety related issues, around mealtimes especially breakfast was a real dilemma. That little tiny piece of chocolate augmented his meagre breakfast of petits filous and juice and meant that he went to school with just one more tiny morsel of food in his tummy.

The Advent Calender became breakfast. Sad, I know but needs must!

Nowadays, as I previously reported, we do delayed gratification very well indeed so our Advent Calender is just for fun and part of our Christmas tradition.

These days the Advent Calender doesn't have to be all about chocolate. A good facebook friend has found the ideal Calender for her son. It's the Lego Advent Calender and could be a real incentive, I think, for a lot of children with Autism. It's expensive though, but it IS lego!

This got me to thinking. There is quite a big marketing niche here to create Advent Calenders for children with Autism, that do so much more than they say on the tin. Lego, Thomas the Tank for example. It doesn't have to be all about corporate money making either. Companies could use their creative expertise at a reduced ( i.e. none?) cost to help children with autism cope with waiting for Christmas, raise awareness and even raise money for an Autism charity!

Food for thought... or perhaps it's already been done?

Anyway.... Happy December everyone. Hope your preparations go well.

xx

Xcessible DLR: INCLUSIVE FUN DAY!

2011-11-30T05:23:00.001-08:00

A while ago I wrote about a really Fun For Everyone day we had in our local Leisure Centre that was organised by DLR Sports Partnership and the Irish Sports Council. We really had a great time that day and a new (and very therapeutic activity) was discovered for my soon-to-be 12 year old son. He took up trampolining with the SuperSonic Trampoline Club as a result of that day and is thoroughly enjoying it ever since. The Occupational Therapy benefits of this activity have even been noted by his OT!

I now have news of another FUN EVENT being organised by DLR Sports Partnership but this is one with a difference. This is an Inclusive Leisure Centre Initiative - FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS WITH DISABILITIES.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

XCESSIBLE DLR:

DATE: SATURDAY 3RD DECEMBER 2011

VENUE: DLR LEISURE SERVICES, MEADOWBROOK, BALLINTEER *

TIME: FROM 3PM TO 5PM

* See here for location map.

Events such as inclusive swimming , accessible gym sessions , inclusive tennis, basketball , boccia and fun & games will showcase the work the centre and Local Sports Partnership do in adapted physical activity, and give newcomers to the centre a go at a new activity.

Adults and children of all disability groups and types are welcome with family/ friends. Those interested in accessing the pool session and who require assistance should bring an assistant or family member for support/ changing but teaching will be provided in the pool.

The Xcessible DLR event promises to be a fun and popular afternoon so please let us know if you are coming along by return email (to poconnor@dlrcoco.ie) or phone 01 271 9506

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please do contact DLR at the above contact details with any query you may have AND to let them know that you're coming.

I have made brief queries on behalf of the Autism community and have been reliably informed that all disabilities, abilities and ages are welcome! And of course assistance dogs too!

Please arrive early, about 2.45pm to register early.

Go along and enjoy. You never know, you just might find a new activity for the child or adult in your care :-)

xx

A Walk in the Park.

2011-11-26T07:11:00.001-08:00

The elderly couple tread gingerly through dying autumn leaves that feel crunchy, like cornflakes, under their shuffling feet.

They spot a Victorian styled wrought iron bench, in a sheltered wooded bower and slowly they approach it, so that they may rest their weary bones.

He takes out a clean, white handkerchief with which to dry the tiny spot of mould that sits on the bench, bleeding through the dappled droplets of rain from an earlier rain shower.

They both ease themselves down in silent companionship. She smoothes her clothes then takes his hand, weathered with the spidery veins of his advanced years, into her own as they sit in their peaceful spot.

The air is crisp and the late autumn sun feels silky against their upturned faces.

A strange aroma invades their senses, a musty odour with the tiniest hint of an oaky scent.

Suddenly, they hear a rustle from the trees behind them and turn to see a small woodland creature peep at them through the rustic leaves tinged with the russets and golds of the autumn season.

He helps her up from their peaceful spot and they slowly weave their way through the crunchy leaves once more.

Homeward bound, with thoughts of their warm, welcoming fire calling softly to them....

xx

NOTE: This was a short prompted piece, led by the words: cornflakes, crispy, smooth, silky, dry, oaky, rustic, musty, crunchy, mould, strange, rustle, dead, veins and sports large' L' Plates!!

#Silent Sunday

2011-11-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

ASD and the Road to Secondary: More Choices & Questions

2011-11-21T05:26:00.001-08:00

Choosing the right secondary school for your child is a daunting task, especially if your child has special needs of any sort and of any magnitude. A lot of thought goes into it and the final choice is not always set in stone. Like the rest of life's decisions, sometimes when you've chosen a definite road to follow someone throws a curve ball in your wake and it can be enough to send you running in desperation back to the dreaded drawing board again.

I wrote about our decision making process around our secondary school choice last April and you can read it here. In this post I suggested the following question, amongst others :

What Leaving Certificate option will suit him? Does the school have all available options?

I also said:

We also reckon that he'll be able for the regular Leaving Certificate option minus the languages of course!

Well, a little curve ball came our way this week and some more thought was given to our decision. I gleaned some important information from my serious fact-finding week and thought I'd share them with you. You just might find it helpful if you have similar decisions to be made. However please be aware that these are just my thoughts on this subject as they pertain to our situation, you will need to do your own research!

As you may know there are different options available with regard to both of the big Irish State Exams sat in secondary school, namely the Junior Certificate and the Leaving Certificate. There is the straight forward, regular and quite academic versions of both exams and then there are other options that might suit the less academic child....

The alternative Junior Cert Programme, as explained to me by our very helpful Principal-to-be, is basically the same programme, subjects (mainly) and concepts taught in a different way. The language is stripped back and the subjects taught in an easier and more structured manner for the children to better digest. There are smaller classes of about 14 students and, with some minor exceptions, the teacher comes to them so there's less confusion moving around from class to class. Also the teachers tend to teach more than one subject so the students have less teachers to contend with. They tend to reward these students with occasional outings and treats too!

The Leaving Cert Applied, as I understand it, is the less academic version of the regular Leaving Cert and is primarily assessment based, as the child progresses through 5th and 6th year. I'm told that the assessments start in February of 5th year and accounts for 70% of the final marks with the actual exam accounting for just 30%. Seems much more manageable to me!

Some schools are single layer schools where only the regular, academic versions of these state exams are available. Other schools, as chosen by the Department, are termed as multi-layered schools and both options of each exam are available. This means, in effect, that the multi-layered schools have the 'safety net' of the less academic versions to turn too if you've made an error of choice in 1st year.

It's not as simple as it seems though, not that it sounds that simple at all! Bear in mind that:

If your child commences in a single layer school in 1st year and is not coping it may be difficult, for a variety of reasons, to move to a multi-layered school with the Junior Cert alternative programme. It could be devastating for his/her self esteem plus there may not be a place available.
If your child does the easier Junior Cert and does well enough in it, it is my understanding that he/she may not move on to do the regular Leaving Cert, therefore will be tied to the Leaving Cert Applied.
The student cannot go direct to University or College from the Leaving Cert Applied but they can feed into Post Leaving Cert courses which lead to IT/DIT courses.
Just because the alternative courses are seemingly geared towards the lesser academic child doesn't mean that they won't suit the academic child! The academic child could have other social, behavioural or anxiety issues, for example, that might lead them down that road. Conversely the seemingly less academic child might need a little challenge and with the right targeted supports do quite well going the regular route!
Although staying in one classroom may seem to be the perfect solution to the organisational problem of moving around, it may very well be that the physical movement from one class to another will give the child with sensory and self-regulation needs the sensory input they need to successfully navigate their day!
It seems that in a matter of a few years both exams will be going down the assessment route for all anyway so who knows what impact that will have on our choices! However, from what I hear it will only be for 1st year Junior Cert students starting in 2014 and sitting the exam in 2017. This is yet to be confirmed.
Nothing is set in stone....this is a learning curve for the next 6 years!

Phew! This Road to Secondary is a very undulating road indeed! I doubt any Sat Nav in existence would have the co-ordinates necessary for the long journey ahead!

I don't have a Sat Nav but I was recently given this list of suggested questions that parents might ask of prospective schools in order to assist us in making our choices:

Does the school have: an Admissions Policy, an Anti-Bullying Policy and a Code of Discipline? (You may ask for copies of each of these documents)
Has the school experience of catering for the educational needs of other children with needs similar to your child?
How does the school allocate resource teaching (within class support, support outside class offered on an individual or group basis). Typically there will be a mixture of these depending on a child’s needs but it is worth getting a sense of how flexible schools are with the resources they are allocated.
If it is possible to talk to the head of resource teaching or year hear that may be helpful. Often they serve as the link between parents and the child’s subject specific teachers and you will be relying on them to ensure each teacher is aware of your child’s particular strengths and weaknesses.
How large are the classes?
How can parents communicate regularly with staff and how will they be informed of day-to-day problems?
Does the school include any social skills training for children with special needs in the curriculum?
Is there a quiet area or room where children can go to retreat if necessary?
What support and training will the staff receive to help them understand your child’s special needs? Will this support and training be ongoing and who will provide it?
Who is the school’s NEPS psychologist?
What opportunities does the school provide for extra curricular activities?
What support will the child receive on school trips?

And here's a suggestion of other things to consider on a school visit:

Are you made welcome?
Do the staff you talk to seem interested in your child?
Are the children positive about the school?
Is there a friendly positive atmosphere?
Do the classrooms look organised?
Is children’s work displayed and celebrated?
Are other cultures and religions represented in the school?

All of this information, plus detailed conversations with school and clinical teams helped make us feel happier about our decision and I hope that this gives you some pointers to start you on your research!* You will of course, like me, have your own questions to add to the mix.

More to follow soon on other issues to help us on our Road to Secondary....

xx

* Note: Please do check out the information contained here in your own research. The information here has come from a very knowledgeable source but there is very little supportive background information available on the Department of Education & Skills website.

#Silent Sunday

2011-11-20T05:57:00.001-08:00

The Waiting Game.....

2011-11-15T16:21:00.001-08:00

It's not an easy game to play, the Waiting Game. It can be really hard to wait for that ultimate object of your desire. Especially if you're anywhere along the vast Autistic Spectrum.

We have been playing the Waiting Game for a few weeks now, as we patiently waited for the Halo Combat Evolved The Anniversary game to come out. The game was pre-ordered, with much ado, about 6 weeks ago and it has been talked about quite a bit since then. We were happy to pay our €3 pre-order fee and wait though.

The anticipation had built up and the talk about the impending release increased. The nightly count down began about a week ago.... 5 nights to go Mum..... 3 more sleeps.... 2 more sleeps.....OhMyGod, when I wake up tomorrow it will be here!! Was pretty much the timeline.

In the last couple of days it was all we could talk and think about! Every greeting, question, and request was met with a comment about the game, he was that excited.

Last night was the first night in many years that WiiBoy had a disturbed night's sleep. I was awoken from my sleep, with bedroom light on and open book in my hand, by an inquisitive sleepy boy who got really upset at the fact that it was only 12.30am! He was so convinced that it must be morning.

The poor divil disturbed me a Little later with an 'upset tummy' but was 'convinced' to eventually go back to sleep. He apparently awoke a few times during the night and had a sick tummy this morning as he was packed out the door to school! Sick with nervous anticipation, was my expert diagnosis! Unrelated perhaps but it seems he had a headache and nosebleed during the school day also!

I had been instructed, a few days earlier, that I was to go collect the pre-ordered nugget of gold that was this Halo game the minute I dropped him off at school. And as I actually dropped him off this morning, an explicit conversation ensued about reminding me to go get it and telling me exactly how the game was to be laid out on the car seat when I picked him up this afternoon! He was quite adamant that the free downloadable content should be immediately visible to him

I'm a good Mum and I know it may seem that I'm pandering to my boy's every whim, but I know how hard it is for him to execute delayed gratification, so I capitulated. If you were passing the Bray GameStop store at 9.25am this morning and saw a saddo Mum waiting in line (by herself) for the store to open, then that was me.

I stumbled and stuttered over the words but I think I got the sequence of words correct. I must have because somehow the most revered game of the century was placed in my hands and carried with great care back to the car.

As I had a lot of important emails and secondary-school-related stuff to do (more about that later) I was a little bit bit late leaving the house to go collect him. That in turn necessitated my usual last minute multi-tasking jobs.....i.e. tearing the plastic wrapper off with my teeth whilst waiting in traffic!

The result was a boy very happy with his new acquisition, who got an unexpected chance to show said game to his passing and very impressed school pals... who gave him some of their sweets! How sweet and socially acceptable is that??!!

The urge to play his newly acquired game interminably was suppressed on our return home. But I could not deny his unsuppressable urge to at least download his downloadable content. Facilitating that urge enabled him to walk away and complete ALL of his homework before returning to explore his new game with another school pal online.

It was a very busy evening and he got only an hour's play on the new game he waited 6 weeks to attain.

He willingly left the game behind and came with me so that he could go see Ireland play football against Estonia and qualify to play in the European Cup 2012 (WOOHOO!!!)

Delayed Gratification is impossible for some to attain. For those who do, it doesn't mean that it's easy.

Well done my WiiBoy..... enjoy your game:-)

xx

NOTE: Photo crdit: cksinfo.com

The Week of the Great Escapes...

2011-11-12T10:42:00.001-08:00

Yes, it was indeed the week of the Great Escapes. Well, mostly a week of great escapes that is.

It started on Tuesday as I made a heroic yet frantic attempt to dash through my day's manic to-do-list so that I could escape my at times frenetic home life in time to attend a twitter- themed Book launch. That is a deliberately long and unpunctuated sentence, so that you truly understand how crazy it can be trying to make an early escape from Chez Jazzy! The last minute doing of homework, making of dinners, timing of Darts (our suburban trains) whilst simultaneously attempting to beautify oneself is NOT for the faint hearted! But I did it and even made the early Dart into town. Although that did involve some last minute shoving of WiiBoy into the car while I drove ~~like a maniac~~ carefully to the Dart station to execute a perfectly timed parental-duty handover to Mr Jazzy, informing him that his ~~freezer-leftovers~~ gourmet dinner was in the oven as I hopped aboard the timely arrived Dart!

The Dart journey allowed a much needed breathing space, so that I could arrive fresh-faced in my head anyway to meet the lovely Nan P at the equally lovely Maria Duffy's launch of her first novel Any Dream Will Do, in DuBray Books Grafton Street . It was a very enjoyable evening and it was fantastic to see a writer get off to such a good start. Thanks for signing my copy of your book Maria, and it was good to see you juggling your motherhood/Author duties whilst doing so! I look forward to reading the book as I find the Tweet-Up Fom Hell concept very intriguing. Sure go buy it yourself to find out what happens!

Not wanting to be outdone, WiiBoy - doing his 11 year old job of putting the heart crossways in his mother - decided on Wednesday to stage a Great Escape of his own. It was of course, all. my. fault! Sigh.

You see he was returning from his class Confirmation retreat and although I was 5 minutes early to collect him, the bus was already there but the children were still alighting.

He wasn't standing beside teacher as she'd told him to. Okay, no panic.....

He wasn't in the school carpark where I was told he'd moved on to. Still ok....

He wasn't ANYWHERE on the school grounds. Heart still in chest cavity where it belongs, but slowly migrating upwards.....

Driving on to the only other rendezvous place he could be I found the church carpark to be completely devoid of all children. Ok...out and out panic now, while heart leaps wildly into mouth and desperately banishing all thoughts of recent local reports of a near-child abduction......

I made two frantic phone calls before driving ~~like a manic~~ as carefully as ever in the direction of home only to find him en route. Casually walking along in his usual fashion of short sleeved top, coat hanging off his head by the hood and lunchbox swinging nonchalantly by his side. Upon pulling up beside him I was greeted by a very happy-go-lucky Hi mum!! Which was met by my rather stern retort of Don't ever do that to me again. Needless to say the next hour did not go well at all. Like I say, it was all. my. fault. Then again he is almost 12 years old and well able to walk home by himself. When pre-arranged with me that is!

The final Great Escape of the week was the best one of all as I made the same, mad dash thorough my day as I had on Tuesday, in order to make an even earlier Dart into town to meet Nan P again for a great night out! We enjoyed the Commitments last gig in the O2 back in March SO much that we bought tickets to go see them again in the more intimate setting of the Olympia Theatre.

Just like the last time I listened to their music on my iTouch on the Dart on the the way in and was overcome by an incredible urge to get up and sing and dance along! It's ok though, I managed to subdue that urge. Besides I was getting funny looks from other passengers at my seat-bopping actions! I bopped along while waiting at traffic lights too, as I walked up to the theatre. In fact, at one point I was in serious danger of staging my own solo flash-mob at the traffic lights on O'Connell Bridge!! Right on the main thoroughfare of our capital city!! But yet again I held back.

I saved myself for the theatre, where all bets were off once the Commitments band hit the stage. Then myself and the lively Nan P were free to reveal our inner Rock Chicks..... Hey, Hey, Hey Hey.... etc; etc; etc

Or better still, listen to this short clip....

It is short because this Rock Chick didn't wanna view the whole thing through a camera lens! Hey.... I wanted to Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey with the rest of 'em!

Truly a memorable night of fabulous music from a very talented band.

They should keep on going and record more songs. There really is a market for what they do!

xx

Wordless Wednesday: The Lunchbox

2011-11-09T06:30:00.000-08:00

The Show Must Go On....

2011-11-06T15:32:00.000-08:00

We had a fantastic evening out on Thursday, WiiBoy and I. I was looking forward to this evening for ages. You see we were meeting with my show pal couple and their son for tea, then off to our favourite Dublin show venue, the fabulous character- filled and chandaliered Gaiety Theatre, to see the Billie Barry Stage School show: The Time of Our Lives. Oh, the excitement!

Now, I know a lot of you reading this will be groaning at the mere mention of the Billie Barry Kids thinking, no doubt, of the oft hinted at BBKS (Billie Barry Kid Syndrome) which seemingly involves a large dollop of cheesy smiles accompanied with a side of perceived precociousness. Please let me try and dispel that rather unfair assessment....

Before I tell you about the show let me set the scene with our little pre-show, show pals reunion! Plus kids! The perpetual circle of life, eh?

It's about four years since we all met-up so a lot of catching up and 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over the boys, how tall they're getting, who they take after etc had to be done! Then we naturally turned to reminiscing about our own show days. All kinds of things were remembered! Pre-Opening number, side- stage jitters and how they ....ahem....presented themselves got a mention. As did the rather rude names we gave ourselves once when in an extremely giddy humour at one rehearsal! Those names will not be revealed here in order to ~~avoid litigation~~ protect our real identities!

Although we ourselves were never Billie Barry Kids (more's the pity) we had the honour of dancing as seniors in two shows, two years apart, back in the 80's as the Billie Barry reins were been handed over from Mother to daughter. The daughter worked us hard for both performances which were each approximately 7 minutes long! We loved every minute of it, every single one. Side-stage nerves were nothing on how we felt on performing at a rehearsal, in their back garden portocabin, for the awe-inspiring Ms. Barry herself! She was always extremely encouraging to us but showed no facial reaction whilst we were dancing, so it was nerve racking to wait until the end to hear her judgement! Kept us all, boys included, on our twinkle toes, that's for sure!!

So, many moons after those thoroughly memorable (to us anyway!) performances, we arrive at the beloved Gaiety Theatre with our own children to see yet another generation of BBKs perform. First thing our boys notice? The chandelier!

The last time we saw a BB show we watched through a veil of excited tears, totally mesmerized by the performances on the stage before us. We knew it would be the same this time and we were not disappointed.

It was a long but thoroughly entertaining show. The whole production, concept, set and costumes were amazing, especially given these difficult financial times. The Billie Barry Show is now only every three years, so they can do it properly. Modern technology also played an important role in this production providing some exciting special effects and allowing dance styles seamlessly segue into mid-number tap dance routines.....without any mad, frantic changing of shoes!!

The choreography was absolutely fabulous for every single number, from babies right up to to seniors. We were totally enthralled. Well done to the very talented Lorraine Barry. We wanted to up there dancing with them Lorriane! A special mention has to go to the Musical Director Peter Beckett, who's musical arrangements were fantastic. I may have tweeted last week, in frustration at the disaster that is this year's XFactor and said that you can't dissect and re-create classic songs. Well you can... when you have a fantastic MD and talented students, that is! Peter had two original compositions in this show: The Gift (Finale) and Superheroes. Oh, and Peter...our apologies for our giddy behaviour at that rehearsal many moons ago. As far as I know you escaped a name-makeover. Although, I can't be 100% sure!

Some of you may still be thinking BBKS but I'll tell you something, those kids provided far more entertainment and professionalism than this year's XFactor.

Apart from the amazing production, choreography and music/singing we were totally blown away by the professionalism displayed by all, from such young performers. Their timing, entrances, exits, holding their final positions ets turned stage training into an art form! And all the beautifully pointed feet deserve a special mention. The most important thing for ANY aspiring dancer to learn! Everyone on that stage performed to the best of their ability, excelled even. To see the 'babies. perform was enchanting. The girl 'fairies' were lead by a front row of four 'older', more experienced girls, one of whom is a daughter of an ex-Billie Barry friend of ours. Dancing in her mother's footsteps, at the tender age of seven! Incredible maturity! Such a beautiful dancer. The boy 'Superheros' were great too and one very young and very enthusiastic Superhero charmed us all and had us in stitches! I'd go as far as to say that he stole the show!!

And all this done without a cheesy smile or any display of precociousness whatsoever. All we saw was bright eyes, smiles, enthusiasiam, professionalism and a level of maturity and stage presence that we achieved only in our late teens/early twenties!

That is the stage training provided by this school. Since 1964. The highlights of the many Theatre,TV and Film appearances by many BB students over the years takes up an impressive two pages in the programme!

There's also a list of some well known past pupils. A lot of other past pupils are pursuing successful careers here and in the UK. Some run their own stage schools!

This is a huge life experience for these children, learning their craft, immersed in fun and encouragement and making friendships for life.

Just like ours.

Stage schools like this provide a supportive outlet for talented children and help keep musical theatre alive.

Judging by the performances of Billie Barry's grandchildren I'd be hopeful that the school will be continuously in good hands for years to come.

I hope all the students involved in this production did indeed have the time of their lives. They will have fond memories of this for years to come, of that I have no doubt.

There is nothing like live performances and I now look forward to my next one which, co-incidentally stars a Billie Barry past pupil........

Committmets- Live at the Olympia on November 10th!

Can't wait!

xx

Note: Photo credit: heathermillan.com

The Halloween Domestic Goddess

2011-10-31T15:39:00.000-07:00

'Twas the Halloween Bank Holiday weekend and a very busy one here at Chez Jazzy. There was lots to fit in around everyone's interests and activities and there was a birthday to celebrate....for someone who hates birthdays!

It is my belief that weekends should be a break for everyone in the family (you know what I'm sayin' here.... right?) and I'm finally finding subtle ways to achieve just that;-)

As birthday boy Mr Jazzy had a big golfing day on Friday with a meal out, WiiBoy and I treated ourselves to a takeaway! Saturday involved more golf so myself and WiiBoy tagged along and spent 2 1/2 hours in the swimming pool (including some sauna/jacuzzi time for me!) while golf was played. We then all had lunch in the golf club, turning a golf day out into a family one;-) Sunday was the only golf-free day so we went for a family birthday meal to our favourite Indian restaurant that does a good early-bird deal.

Do you see what I've done here? Three whole days and no meals cooked!! Shush.... don't tell;-)

It's now Monday, Halloween and I'm feeling a bit guilty as my child hasn't eaten a home-cooked meal in a few days! I'm also feeling guilty as I haven't visited my mother in her nursing home all weekend either. I did try to remedy that today. We may only be a one child family but we are also a one car one too so that does create difficulty sometimes. Heavy rain was forecast and I wanted to stay home to keep an eye on the flooding situation so I came up with a genius plan.... get the nursing home to send her out to me in a taxi! Would have worked too, if only their damn phones were working. It's strange, they always seem to have a problem with phones on holidays....

Anyway, I have a confession to make..... I hate Halloween! I'm not creative at all with regards Halloween costumes or decorations and I most certainly don't make my own. I did reluctantly put up some decorations though...

Pathetic I know, but I had to risk life and limb standing on a chair to get these up. No mean feat when you're as accident prone as me!

WiiBoy and I DID make a traditional pumpkin lantern....

Okay....... slightly lop-sided and deformed I know, but hey, it's Halloween! Anything goes!!

Everyone always has these fab photos of lit pumpkin lanterns but no-one ever tells you that the lids burn from the inside!! Jeez... just as well I checked, or it could have been a case of escaping a flood only to get burnt out by a creepy, deformed pumpkin!

There were some leftovers after our lantern making so me, being in Domestic Goddess mode (or being Queen of Waste Not Want Not, perhaps?) turned this...

into this.....

And my WiiBoy enjoyed the pumpkin soup SO much he asked for more, in true Oliver fashion! It was absolutely gorgeous, I must admit Ooh.... go me!

But I wasn't finished. Oh no, not by a long shot!

Before I made the soup I made flapjacks as breakfast fodder for the faddy breakfast eater.....

And as I knew WiiBoy would be off eating pizza with his Trick or Treating buddies before they went trick or treating, and subsequently stuffing themselves with crap, I made a healthy lunch for him, to follow the gorgeous pumpkin soup. I made his very favourite lunch... Indian Pizza (or Quesadilla to you and I) which is packed full of vegetables. He loves it!

My guilt somewhat assuaged I sent him off trick or treating with his 4 pals. They had pizza in one house, did the rounds on 2 roads and have now taken themselves and their sugar-laden booty off to another house to watch a movie!

Last I heard it was turning into an impromptu sleepover!

My sugar-filled sleepy boy will return home tomorrow to a clean house as this Domestic Goddess finishes her Halloween chores, before the clock strikes 12 midnight and her lit pumpkin turns into rat or a frog or something and all mayhem resumes as normal. Sigh....

Note: Jazzy would like to assure her readers that no-one was hurt in the making of this blog-post, she hasn't been turned into a Stepford Wife and normal service WILL resume shortly.

Saved by the ..... Bins.

2011-10-28T17:11:00.000-07:00

Oh Dear God.... not again - was the first thought that ran through my head when I opened my hall door at around 8.15pm, on Monday 24th October 2011 and looked down at where my neighbour was pointing. Rain water, up to the step and flowing right around to the back of the house, threatening to make another dramatic entrance into our house and into our lives from both angles, just like last time. Not on my watch.

'Oh My God, we're flooding again' - I half screamed and cried simultaneously both into the phone, as I hung up on my friend, and at my husband who was busy in another room. I could feel my panic and my tears rising as fast as the murky floodwater gathering outside. Oh God... Oh God.. We can't go through this again..I thought, as memories of months of upheaval flooded back to me. You'll pardon the pun, I'm sure. However, I quickly pulled myself together as I gathered my thoughts, rolled up my sleeves and pulled on my wellies. This water will NOT invade our house, I silently promised myself. Like I say..... NOT on my watch.

We knew how serious this situation was and exactly how little time we had before our homes would flood. The last time this happened, 16th August 2008 to be precise (yeah, that's right.. 'summer') we had about 10 minutes from the point of water being at the step to it flowing over the threshold. It was still pelting down out there and we had approximately 10 minutes to save our homes. 10 minutes.... and counting.

Ths is from 2008 and is how big the flood would have been with another 10 minutes of rain

Now, we've not been complacent since the last flood, I'll have you know. We're always on floodwatch any time there's heavy rain and anyone who follows me on twitter and Facebook will attest to that fact by virtue of my tweets/updates. Last Sunday/Monday was no different. We watched that rain and the road outside for build up for two days running and all seemed well. I put my hands down our shores and pulled out soggy leaves and grimy gunk at 3pm on Monday. Mr Jazzy did the same on Sunday. All was fine the last time we checked, which was at 7.15pm as we returned home in the torrential downpour after collecting Mr Jazzy from the bus stop and our WiiBoy from trampolining class. It was very heavy rain, apparently a month's rain fell in a 24 hour period in Dublin causing absolute mayhem everywhere. To us though, it was exactly the same as on 16th August 2008. We were assured by our local council after the last flood that the problem was fixed and that it would never, ever happen again. After all, we live on a cliff. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yup, we're approximately 20ft up over-looking the sea and not a river bank in sight. Ironic, huh?

So, as hubby and I quickly dressed for flood battle, which took all of two minutes, we all tried to recall what it was we did last time and endeavoured to do it quicker this time. I spotted the two green and purple sentinels standing guard next door and remembered... 'WHEELIE BINS' I shouted out the door, struggling to get at my wellies ..... 'we used wheelie bins last time,' Well, eventually we did. This time we kicked straight in with them. But first I moved our car to the nearest dry spot. You see, our driveway houses two shores, into which the sewerage and waste water flows from 6 houses. Our neighbours had recently unblocked them but best to keep clear... just in case.

Then I went for our wheelie bins, but as I couldn't push them from back to front garden against the pull of the flood water, I abandoned all social niceties and simply grabbed our neighbours two proud, guarding receptacles out front. I found another dry spot and unceremoniously dumped the contents and we went to work. We were also conscious of the large lake which was growing ever bigger on the road outside, just like last time

At some stage, in the middle of all this mayhem, Mr Jazzy remembered that we'd also called the emergency services the last time. Yes, the fire brigade were there for 3 hours pumping out our floodwater, I recalled.

Good idea, let's call them. So I dialled 999.....and was put on interminable hold. While only silently panicking to that point I could feel it all slipping away as I half screamed and cried, yet again, to anyone within earshot.... 'I'm on hold...for the EMERGENCY services? How the flipping hell can that be?'.... Ok, admittedly I was a little more ... colourful.... than that in my choice of language. I simultaneously phoned the local Gardai from another phone and they eventually answered. They explained that a state of emergency had been declared in our Capital city and that they themselves, even with their secret contact numbers, couldn't get hold of them. God help any seriously ill person needing an ambulance, that rainy Monday night in Dublin.

So, we were completely on our own this time, it seemed. It was totally down to us to save our homes. And that's precisely what we did. NOT on our watch....

Back to rely on our good ole ever faithful friends, the lowly, and utterly under-estimated wheelie bins.....and our real-life human friends too, in the form of our fantastic neighbours who once again came to our assistance. Community spirit is alive and kicking in our village.

We quickly got a system going whereby using pots, pans, buckets and anything we could lay our hands on, we (adults and children alike) frantically filled one wheelie bin which one of the men would drag about 100 yards down the road to the nearest unblocked shore, while we started filling another wheelie bin. This system was in place in a number of homes. The primary aim was to keep the water from getting above the front step of our homes and gaining access. Clearing the water from the front also lowered the water level at the back of the house. Please....please flood water, don't destroy our lovely 3 year old extension. Anything else was a bonus.

And we did indeed get a bonus. The Gods themselves shone on us that night and decided, in their infinite wisdom that being flooded once was more than enough - especially since we live on a cliff and decided to turn off that giant tap in the sky, with minutes to spare. NOT on their watch...

To put it in perspective and to give you a fuller picture of our predicament that night: if the rain hadn't stopped when it did then using wheelie bins to remove the flood water would have been the equivalent of using thimbles. Yet, we would have continued bailing out that floodwater as, in our minds, to use thimbles was better than doing nothing.

Even though the rain had stopped we carried on working feverishly to clear all water threatening our homes and those of our infirm neighbours. However, we also wisely used the breathing space this god given bonus afforded us and deployed teams to clear the on-road shore blockages and to assess the real problem that brought this to our doorways again.

Three people headed to that real source of the flood..... the visible over ground ever-growing river flowing down Quinns Road with speed and with nowhere to go. Finding the lowest point of gravity it diverted into our estate. But the real problem was, just like last time, the one none of us could see, but knew was there. The deluge of water, draining from the many estates leading onto the Quinns Road, that was thundering underground at a ferocious rate and couldn't, for whatever reason, 'turn the corner' to gain access to the famous 5ft diameter drainage pipe that takes all of our water out to sea. That underground deluge also found the same lowest point of gravity to divert to.... the under ground pipe from our estate which joins that system just at that 'corner'.

Note: Last time it was that 5ft diameter pipe that was found to be 40% blocked by huge tree roots and builders debris from a recent extension at the tennis club. That was deemed, by the council, to be the primary cause of our previous flood. That drain hadn't been examined or cleaned in years.

Soon our homes were out of danger so we all joined in in manually clearing the leaf and debris blocked roadside shores, that had not been recently cleaned by the Council. Our husbands, under the dark cover of night and with no protective gear had to stick their hands, through a foot or two of filthy flood water, down the shores to remove blockages to allow the water flow freely. The Tanaiste (Deputy Prime Minister) of our country was spotted poking his head from behind a nearby bush then promptly disappearing. Presumably to phone the man he knew was right for the job...our local very hard working Councillor who appeared on the scene just as we finished up, at around 10.30 that night. We thank them both.

We were exhausted after our 2 hour frantic dash to save 18 homes from being flooded again and know that we have a long, hard battle ahead to ensure that the Council solve this problem once and for all this time. We are clear that we need constant, regular drain maintenance and road sweeping. We need an urgent engineer's report on that large drainage pipe to see what the blockage was this time and we need them to separate our drainage system from the current connection point and lay a new pipe to join in further down. We are blessed to have an active Councillor and Residents Association to support us in our endeavours.

NEVER again should the waste and sewerage water from a large portion of our village be allowed to flood our much smaller housing estate.

We have no doubt that our prompt, yet frantic actions on Monday night saved the Insurance companies a fortune.. Our claims the last time round must have amounted to about a million Euro. All down to the Council's inaction.The council no longer employs road sweepers to clear drains. Cutbacks, to save money. Yet another false economy in this era of Austerity. It costs more to clean up after these events and to lay costly pipes then it does to provide regular maintenance. House Insurance premiums increase for everyone when more and more flood claims are made, but those making the claims are at risk of not getting further flood coverage.

We are reliably informed that had we flooded on Monday night we would have been covered but thereafter our Insurance companies would have refused flood cover. Even though...... we live on a cliff !! For cryng out loud... how ridiculous is that?

We are so relieved that we didn't flood on Monday and know how close we came. Those shores in our garden? Just as the rain stopped Mr Jazzy checked and saw that the level of waste water in one shore was right to the top. He didn't dare open the sewage one.The next stage was those shores to pop....letting God knows what spew everywhere.

We were saved by 10 minutes, the rain-gods turning off the tap, fabulous neighbours........ and very deep wheelie bins!

We're safe for now but there's more rain due on Saturday and tons more leaves to fall from the trees, so floodwatch will begin anew then and we'll be ready to go into action at short notice if needed.

We are thankful to be safe and that no-one was injured or lost their lives. we know others weren't so lucky and our hearts go out to them and to their families.

Stay safe....

xx

PS: Photo credits to ShankillFalls Photostream

The Boy in the Mirror...

2011-10-23T15:58:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a gorgeous little baby who loved to cuddle with his mum.

He was a smiley baby who, when not tantruming or screaming with frustration at this world, loved to laugh, have fun and immerse himself in anything that was going on..

He got bigger and funnier (or 'funner' as he might say) as he grew up...

He loved Christmas and Thomas the Tank...

He also discovered a distinct liking for coca cola at a young age, and was spotted cossetting ALL the tiny cans at a birthday party whilst all the children were busy in the bouncy castle....

They really were seriously, finger-licking good....

He always loved his cuddles and snuggles with his mum (and dad too!) though, no matter his age....

He was quite often to be seen dangling from his mum's hip, right up to the age of 6 or 7, as she went about her duties. But that was really a situation of the mum's making. She loved to get her cuddles from her boy whenever and however she could, you see. How else to placate a bored, demanding 6 year old when one is fulfilling their role as choreographer at an equally demanding dress rehearsal? It's amazing the variety of roles one can manage with a child of any age dangling from one's hip!

The boy grew up to be too tall for such positions of closeness though, but mum could still wrap her arms around him and get snuggles and cuddles on demand.

Then one day mum got a shock when she looked in the mirror, as she was stealing yet another snuggly cuddle from her boy...

When and how did he get as tall as me, she wondered? How on earth did that happen?

Mum is utterly shocked at this recent revelation, but is also very relieved that although her boy is beginning to outgrow her, he does not appear to have outgrown her snuggles and cuddles. Yet.

It is a huge milestone she feels, yet she knows there are more imminent, and far more scarier, ones on the horizon as Teendom rapidly approaches by apparent express delivery.

As long as she has snuggles and cuddles she's equipped to deal with anything coming her way.

Including talk of girls, or 'random stalkers' as her boy might say, 'fancying' him. (Oh.... dear.... GOD!)

She might, just might, even cope with supposed talk of girls allegedly wanting to kiss him. (Whhaaaattt??!!)

In this she is reminded of a legendary Dublin saying, said with a distinctive Dublin accent, and remains resolute....

'I don't mind kissin'..... but I hate tha''

xx

PS. Apologies for the poor quality of the photos. I can't scan properly to my PC so I had to a bit...ahem.... creative to get them here!

The Boat

2011-10-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

I sit atop the perilous cliff edge

As the evening light fades in the local park.

I'm drawn to this spot when I noticed the boat on the soft sea waves

mere moments ago.

The big white boat with it's salubrious red markings is sitting silently in the bay..

Just sitting.

The night is closing in and it feels wonderfully calm.

I hear the gentle rippling waves softly lap the stoney shore below where I sit.

The night air clothes me in it's late summer warmth and magical embrace.

I am now rooted to this spot...

Entrapped by the stillness of my surroundings

And the beauty of the view on the calm sea ahead.

And still the boat just sits there.

Watching me

As I watch it

The light house and buoys blink at us both with regular insistence,

As if to draw us closer still, in this magical moment.

Why is the boat just sitting in the bay?

Why am I sitting here?

The light fades further and the night sky slowly darkens

With a twinkling promise of the starry night to come.

I can barely see the boat, just sitting on the bay.

It cannot see me atop my perilous cliff- seat.

The light fades further still and all around is eerily quiet

The walkers have long since departed.

And now, so must I.

Note: Image credit: fotosearch.com

Meeting With Friends..... New and Old

2011-10-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

With all signs of illness banished from the house, I managed to shake myself free from the 5 day old shackles that had bound me and escaped to go meet some other adults this week, not once but twice!

My first outing was to the Dublin twitter social event of the month on Wednesday night. Well it certainly received a lot of twitter promotion in the past few weeks and you'd want to have been living on a far distant planet not to have known it was on! It was fabulously organised by a wonderful group of tweeters, a couple of whom I've only been recently following. They went to a lot of bother on twitter and in reality. There was a blog set up, an Oct12tweetup hashtag, a venue booked and platters of food organised. We even had very posh Oct12tweetup name badges!

Although I've been to a many a facebook meet-up at this stage this was my first ever tweetup. I didn't have to brave it alone though, I ~~dragged~~ ~~bribed~~ courteously invited two of my very good blogging and real-life pals Blue Sky and Nan P to accompany me on this auspicious occasion. None of us had been to a tweetup before and we wondered what a tweetup was, really. I thought it might be like a facebook coffee morning.... but at night, with wine? We also wondered what the term for us first-time tweetup attendees might be..... tweetup virgins perhaps? Twirgins? twirginups? Oh hell, have another glass of something while we figure it out!

We arrived not truly knowing what to expect. What would the people (or tweeple) be like in real life? Would they be like their twitter persona's or do we all hide behind the sometimes anonymous feel of twitter and our avatars? In my head if I can't see them, they can't see me so I feel ridiculously anonymous on twitter.... which is truly ridiculous! What did the bar manager think when his pub was booked for this thing called a 'tweetup'? One thing I knew for sure though, despite what my family may think of these things called twitter and facebook there would be no axe-wielding 'individuals' or Libyan Generals and the like in attendance!!

And I was right, there wasn't. Just a bunch of really nice, welcoming people is all. Hugs were offered and accepted from tweeters we've been regularly in contact with and new introductions were gladly made. Friendships made online were cemented in reality and new twitter connections forged. It was a lovely night enjoyed by all who attended. It was lovely to see #oct12tweetup light up on twitter in the aftermath and to receive so many warm follow friday mentions today also.

When you follow and engage with some good people, twitter is an amazing place. I'm lucky, I have tons of good people on my follow list. I know that for real now.

My second outing was the very next night when I met up with some friends of old. Some super-mums from my son's first (special) school. Although none (or very, very few) of our children attend the school any longer we nonetheless meet a couple of times a year. It is really great to catch up on how the children are doing and on our lives too. Over a lovely meal and a glass or two of wine, of course! It was a very enjoyable night also.

I value the friends I have. I truly value those I have made in reality as I've traveled through my life to date and now I put equal value on the friends I've made through social media.

Friends are important in life. It doesn't matter how these friendships are forged, whether it's online or in real life situations: friendships are friendships. They all count. They all mean something.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion on online communication via these social sites but people who don't partake shouldn't be so quick to judge those of us who do;-)

And those of us who do enjoy spending time online to engage with our online friends shouldn't forget our real life friends in the process!

We remember and treasure all of our friends.

xx

PS Image credit to wine-canyon.com

Stuck in Inbetween Land

2011-10-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've been playing the 'how sick is he really' game all week with my WiiBoy. It started last Wednesday when he awoke with a sore throat and I diligently played my 'good mother role'..... by plying him with Nurefen and sending him off to school!

Actually, it really started a few weeks ago with a mysterious 'now it's here... now it's gone' headache. It got mentioned every couple of days....and any time he was stressed in any way.... or didn't want to do something! He got sent in a couple of days with nurefen then also. Although he may have used it for ulterior motives the headache was real, he wasn't putting it on.

Headaches are kind of worrying aren't they? But with an 11 year old on the cusp of teendom, a headache could be any number of things! It could be to do with his eyes, his blood pressure (kidney related perhaps?), teenage hormones coursing at the speed of light through his veins, extended xbox play (be very careful when you make such a suggestion to your child!)...... or it could simply be a sign of an incoming cold/bug/viral thingamajig!

That's what it seems to be now..... a cold/bug/viral thingamajig.

Not fully one or the other. An Inbetween bug thingamajig, so to speak.

He did survive last Wednesday in school though. He even survived Grandpa's birthday meal in a lovely Chinese restaurant that night, filling himself with adult portions of Spring Rolls and Chicken Chow Mein. And birthday cake too, of course. Filled my heart with joy to see him eating like that, considering his younger eating, actually non-eating, habits.

He survived it so spectacularly that I plied him with Nurefen the next morning when he awoke in similar fashion! Alas, I got the phone call 90 minutes later and I had to go collect him! He was feeling miserable and getting upset at the slightest thing. How much from illness and how much from pre-teen hormones is anyone's guess, although I do suspect it's more the former!

So, here I am stuck in Inbetween Land with an 11 year old, on the cusp of teendom, who is feeling a tad under the weather and is stumbling through his various emotional pathways; from Moany Drive straight to Teary Close, turning right into Hyper Avenue which leads directly into the Cul-de-Sac known as Giddy Heights! Oh the joys...

He has improved slightly but still the headache remains. He's unsure at times whether it's a headache or a fuzzy feeling and he does feel a bit weak.

Not weak enough to keep him off xbox though.

Yet weak enough to prevent him completing his school project that has to be handed in tomorrow morning!

In fairness he has taken himself off xbox regularly and even went to bed one night without being asked!

And he did try to help with the project but he couldn't concentrate for long. His head is wrecked apparently and if I'm honest that's why I'm reluctant to send him back to school. Whatever chance he has of getting through his day when his head is focused what chance does he have if it's wrecked? I may be just setting him up for a big fall.

So, the project is done, completed by yours truly. I thought it would be difficult to write as an 11 year old but alas, it was surprisingly easy!. A bit like some first drafts of most stuff that you read here in fact.... Sigh! However, final editing is now complete and the pages are printed off and in his schoolbag.

Waiting to see what tomorrow will bring.

If not school then perhaps a quick trip to the Doctor for a check up I think.

To pay €60 to get an official diagnosis of a cold/bug/viral thingamajig!

I do hope he returns to school soon.

As much as I love my son I need to escape this Inbetween Land you see, in a....

I'm a mum..... Get Me Out of Here!!!

kind of a way. If you see what I mean...

But if I'm stuck here you'll all keep me company..... won't you?

xx

Note: Image credit: picturesof.net

iPad for Secondary School....

2011-10-06T02:33:00.000-07:00

There has been a little party going on for a while now over on Jen's Irish Autism Action Blog and I've been on the outside looking in for quite some time.

It's a special party..... a kind of a BYO party.

Except it's not wine or beer you bring along, it's old unwanted mobile phones. You know, every house has them, stuffed in drawers, behind sofas and lost in presses. Just sitting there doing nothing.

Well, lots of people at this party have collected these working and nonworking (doesn't matter) mobile phones to recycle them under a marvellous initiative by BPI Telecom and the IAA. You collect the phones, IAA gets some funds, and the individual or school can exchange the phones for a device or piece of equipment. For example...165 phones will get you an iPad!

See here for full details and here for some more recent iPad options available.

It's a fantastic initiative and so far 81 iPads have been given out to various individuals and schools by BPI Telecom and IAA!

I love a good party, me and I've been hanging around too long on the outskirts of this one.

I wasn't too sure if this is a party I could attend, you see. My child is older, high functioning and doing extremely well.

But then I got to thinking.....

iPads are amazing devices full of educational and communication promise.

Could it be of benefit to a child on the cusp of second level education, I wondered?

Could school books be downloaded to it and would it be easier for the ASD kid to access his/her text books via this medium?

Could homework or projects be researched and presented via this device?

Could this device revolutionise diminished organisational skills?

Could it make it easier for scheduling and planning?

Could it help with homework note-taking?

Is there an App for that? And if not.... why not?

And finally.... Could it bring you a nice cup of tea in the morning? Okay, maybe I ask too much of this wonderful device!

Taking all of the above into consideration, I have finally decided to make a late (and hopefully not too dramatic!) entrance to this party!

So I am now collecting mobile phones for my WiiBoy in anticipation of his entry into second level education in September 2012.

Let me pave the way for others behind me!

So I ask you, my Irish readers, to please keep me in mind if you have any old phones you need to recycle.

You will be helping to raise funds for the IAA and can also enter into a draw to have your mortgage paid for a year! There's also a runners-up prize of a Spanish family holiday up for grabs!

The phones in working condition will go to third world countries and the non-working ones will be broken down into their components and re-used. So you'll be helping the environment too!

If I'm lucky enough to get more phones than I need then any excess will be passed on to our local school, or to this group of facebook people, all of whom are also collecting them at present.

These devices are revolutionising life for lots of children on the Autistic Spectrum, at home and in Montessori and primary schools. Now let's see what they can do for kids in Secondary school.

Please contact me via comments below or on my Jazzygal facebook page or my twitter account (see sidebar for details) if you can help.

Many thanks :-)

xx

(& WiiBoy!)

Note: Image credit to: http://www.signupgenius.com

WiiBoy's Words of Wisdom: Act 1 Scene 7: The Experts

2011-10-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

The scene is set in back garden at about 10pm one summer's evening, as Mum and WiiBoy end a busy, fun-filled day chatting whilst gathering up his nerf gun spongy bullets. WiiBoy has had a wonderful day and has quite a lot to say about it!

They move back inside with him still chatting. The TV is on and mum finally gets to sit down with her favourite toy...her laptop....

WiiBoy: Ooh.... look at him, this looks fun!

Mum: Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot that 'America's Got Talent' is on tonight. Will we watch it together? It'll be fun!

WiiBoy: Yes!

Mum: Ok so.....bed straight after at 11 pm though.... no problems, ok?

WiiBoy: Sure mum.

Mum does her usual muti-facetweeting-blog-reading thing, whilst dipping in and out of the TV programme....

WiiBoy: Oh-My-God mum... look at him.... oh my God... now look at what he's doing... mum.... look...

Mum: (lifts her head up) Oh yes... I see him... very funny. (head goes back to the comment she's working on)

WiiBoy: Oh look at this guy mum..... he's so girly (he - ahem - may have used another word!)

Mum: Hmmm.... well he is quite effeminate. Wonder if he can sing? Ok, say now can he or can't he.... quick, before he sings...

WiiBoy: Yes!

Mum: And it's a Yes from me too! (he/she sings Lady Ga Ga) Wow..... what an amazing singer and and a fantastic version of that song. He's kind of like a... Lady-Boy Ga Ga, isn't he?

WiiBoy: You mean a Gay Boy Ga Ga!!

Mum: Now WiiBoy.... that's not nice. We do not say that.

WiiBoy: But he is... and look!! There he goes carrying a silver handbag!!

Mum: Oh yes, so he does!! (best not to labour the point;-) He's fantastic though, I hope he does well.

WiiBoy: (trying subdued but not quite carrying it off!) Ummm..... yes mum!

The evening continues with WiiBoy commenting constantly on every little thing. Mum is enjoying it but she wants her laptop time too. She can't possibly keep up with him and it doesn't take long for the mood to suddenly change..... unfortunately.

WiiBoy: Mum.... quick look at this lady... .mum...now...... MUUUUMMM... you missed it again... you never look when I ask you to.

Mum: Sorry son but I can't possibly look up EVERY single time you ask.....

WiiBoy: You never do...always chatting on that thing...mumble, mumble, grumble, mutter....

Mum: Ok... that's it... time for bed.

WiiBoy: No, it's not..... you never listen to me etc; etc;etc

Mum: It's very late now WiiBoy, time for bed .... NOW

WiiBoy is getting more annoyed and angry and there are tears as he expresses how unimpressed he is at his mum's....ahem... preferred interest. He keeps sharing these thoughts of his on his walk to and up the stairs, with mum not far behind him...

WiiBoy: You're always on that laptop (dons funny voice) 'ooh... chatting with my friends on facebook and twitter... ooh.. look at me...'

Mum: Now that's not quite true, this is the only time today that I've sat down... you've had lots of xbox play today, haven't you?

WiiBoy: I'm not obsessed... and you can't say much anyway... you're obsessed. You don't even know these people!

Mum: Well, I have met quite a few of them now and I'm very careful whom I talk too...

WiiBoy: NO... you DON'T know them... they're all ..... terrorists... and rapists.... and... and.... Gaddafis!!

Mum: (trying really hard not to laugh and knows it's impossible to reason, or reprimand, your way out of a mini-meltdown) Now WiiBoy... that's not true!

WiiBoy: Well... I'm going to be friends with anyone I like so...

Mum: No, you're not... .you must be careful.

WiiBoy: Well why can't I.... why?? Go on.... why..

Mum: Because .... well... because (turning into her own mother).. because... I..... I said so!!

They get up the stairs and things eventually calm down, with mum's help. Mum gets WiiBoy settled in bed....

Mum: Night night, sleep well sweetie.... you've had a lovely day today and we'll have a lovely day tomorrow too. I'm very proud of how nicely you played wiith your friend today.

WiiBoy: gently nods his head in acceptance and snuggles up... ready to sleep.

They finish their goodnights in their usual fashion, by blowing kisses at each other as mum leaves the room...

We see mum at the top of the stairs with hand on the light switch as she looks down the stairs.....

Mum: In conclusion and in order to keep the peace, let me just state that no-one in this house is obsessed with anything. Okay? Let's just say that WiiBoy is..... an expert at Xbox and that I'm an expert at social media and leave it that ...alright?

Phew!

She turns off the light and as she does so....

                                          Blackout

                                           Curtain

                       END OF ACT 1

(NOTE: As I've been honoured with a request, this post will be entered into the S-O-S Best of the Best's 'Family fun-life, Loving and Special' October edition! Wish me luck, I hope it's accepted! Check the link on the 15th October to see!)

xx


If you like this post, check out the series!

For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 1 (Wrinkles) click here
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 2 (Random Words) click here
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 3 (Birds and the Bees) click here
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 4 (Theatre Trip) click here
For Wiiboy's WoW: Act 1 Scene 5 (Balloons) click here For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1 Scene 6: (Random Communication) click here

The Life of an SNA, Part 2: The One Who Stayed Behind...

2011-09-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I posted Part 1 of The Life of an SNA which has received a lot of coverage. My thanks to those who have read and shared it.

Today I follow with Part 2...... The One Who Stayed Behind.

From an SNA who retained her post.....

Since our school lost 4.5 SNA's things have changed dramatically.

I have had the pleasure of working in my school for the last 5.5 years with the same little boy. When I first started it was one to one on a 2 day a week basis, moving onto full time. The child I was assigned to is one of our school's success stories and is regularly referred to as that by teachers and staff in school.

There are 3 reasons for this:

1) His wonderful parents who fought for his place in mainstream school and made sure everything he was entitled too he got.

2) The child himself who is a very endearing, mannerly boy who despite his difficulties always tried to do right and worked very, very hard.

.3) The support of a full time, one on one, SNA.

The reason this worked is because a child with ASD thrives on familiarity and needs to build up trust in order to open up and be receptive to changes that inevitably occur in school on a daily basis.

I have seen massive changes in this boy and he has gone from panicking and getting 1 or 2 spellings right in weekly spelling test to quietly getting his head down and getting 20/20 most weeks, and that is just one example.

However, because we have lost these SNAs this young boy now only has access to me!!

I also have 4 other children in my care which I now spend my day going between.
,
The problem with access to an SNA for these children is that a child with special needs does not run on a timetable. I unfortunately do! So in an ideal world they will wait until they have their time with me to have a difficulty, problem, become upset, have a meltdown etc. We don't live in an ideal world so therefore they may be be fine and cope while I am with them but what happens when I'm gone?

On a typical day, I have gone from spending my time pre-empting sticky situations and stopping problems before they start to only being able to pop in and out which leaves me feeling nervous.

I often wonder if the little boy I've worked with for 5.5 years wonders why I am suddenly not there at that precise moment he needs me, and that makes me sad. I wouldn’t like him to think that I’ve abandoned him.

Some of the other children that I now look after had also built up the same relationship with their SNA who has been let go and are now bewildered and wondering; 'where has my SNA that I trusted gone?'

I feel I am cheating the kids because I can only give an hour here, a half an hour there and it feels like I can’t give any consistency.

I will do my very best for these children in my care but I am only one person spread very thinly and while my main charge goes off to secondary next year, a happy young man with the tools he needs to enjoy and learn new skills, I fear for the younger ones who won’t have the benefits of constant support.

Will they too end up being a success story?

I’m not so sure that they will.

Yours,

A very willing but unable to be everywhere SNA....

I'm not so sure they will either and that breaks my heart.

My heartfelt thanks to both these SNAs for bravely coming forward and telling us how things actually are on the ground. I have no doubt that what they reveal here is replicated across all similar schools affected by these cuts.

I have collated these two posts here not only to give the SNAs a voice in these discussions but also in an attempt to keep this issue alive in the public eye.

You see, for some children the effects of losing their SNA (or not getting one at all) will be evident immediately and it is correct that we fight vigorously for these children. However, we must also bear in mind all the other children for whom these effects will not be evident today. Or even this week, or next month, or even this year. For some the effects may not be evident until they start secondary school. Or indeed until they go forward into the workforce. Or not

When I asked these two SNAs to contribute to this blog I honestly didn't realise how similar the cases where. They are a prime example of what I've been saying all along. The child in today's story WILL go prepared into secondary school next year but what about the child in Part 1 who had the benefit of a full-time SNA until last June? And what about a similar child starting in Junior Infants now with only access to an SNA or none at all. What happens to them?

I've said it before and I will say it again:

'A lot of children on the Autistic Spectrum will have skill sets relating to IT, Technology, Mathematics and Science.'
and
'the education of a future workforce is seriously at risk'

*I specifically mention this group of children because I fear that children with ASDs orBehavioural Disorders are being targeted by the VFM report and will be ultimately removed from the SNA scheme*

If you don't believe me then read this story about the unique testers employed at a Software Startup Company.

But first, Dear Minister for Education, THEY NEED TO GET THROUGH SCHOOL.

Yes, we must continue our fight so that all of the children, special needs or not, reach their full potential and take their rightful place in society.

Thanks for reading.

xx

PS: Your comments would be much appreciated. thank You.

The Life of an SNA, Part 1: The One Who Was Let Go

2011-09-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

I have discussed the SNA (Special Needs Assistant) issue at length on a number of posts here recently. It is something I am passionate about as I personally know that the SNA scheme is effective and represents true value for money, as I demonstrate in my Dear Minister for Education post. I share some of my story in that post and I also share my thoughts on recent statements made by politicians in my Making Our Voices Heard post.

A lot of parents and teachers have shared their stories recently and we have seen some SNAs briefly on our TV screens with their charges, showing us how crucial their assistance is and the difference it makes in class.

Some of our special needs children are being treated in an especially appalling manner in that they can only attend school for short periods of time per day, such are the cuts in place in their schools..

But what about the other children, special needs and otherwise, how are they faring?

What is it really like for SNAs these days? How are the children coping? What is the work environment like?

What is it like in the mainstream classroom these days?

Two SNAs have very kindly offered to share their stories annonymously with us and I will reveal those stories here, in two parts.

Today is Part 1 of The Life of an SNA; The One Who Was Let Go:

From an SNA who lost her post.........

I've been working as an SNA in my local school for 4 years, a job I loved and enjoyed going into everyday.

On Monday 27th June 2011 that all came crashing down as myself and 4 of my colleagues were told the devastating news, by an equally devastated Principal, that our posts were gone following a SENO assessment!

Its hard to really express just how this affected me personally but the best way to explain it is that to me, it felt like a bereavement.....I was genuinely grieving. Not just for the fact I'd miss the salary, the camaraderie with colleagues and friends, the interaction with the children in the school, all of which I would, but more for the fact that I wouldn't get to continue to work with the great little guy I'd been assigned to for the past 4 years. I wouldn't get to see his continued progression, his improvement in every area and to see him off to MAINSTREAM secondary school in the knowledge that I'd been part of a team that allowed this to happen.

When I started in the role of *Conor's SNA (*not real name) .he was a challenging child with so many problems and an iron will when it came to doing something he didn't want to do. I worked on helping his progress in the following areas:

Writing..... he couldn't write his name in 1st Class.

Reading.... his reading age was substantially behind that of his classmates.

Social Skills....Inappropriate behaviours, that can be a danger to others, is not the best way to get attention and make friends.

General help... in interpreting exactly what the teacher was instructing.

Organisational skills.......its your book to put away, up to you to find right books for homework etc.

Motivating him to stay on task.

By the end of 4th class every aspect had improved. He regularly got full marks in tests and he was reading novels and enjoying them. His ability to get himself from one place to another in school had improved as had his organisational skills, which just needed a bit of pushing and sneaky double checks to ensure he had all homework books...this still has a way to go I hear!!

The absolute pride and satisfaction I got from watching him progress so well is second only to the birth of my own 2 children.

While Conor has progressed well he now only gets "Access to an SNA" for a small part of the day, and while this helps to promote independence it happened very suddenly for him. I can see how he will regress very quickly. Calling in to see the class last week I noticed how the teacher had to stop what she was doing a number of times to get Conor back on task.She had to help organise his Homework stuff , as he wasn't too sure what he needed. She has to regularly stop teaching, affecting 31 other children, or ignore him and let him drift and switch off. It broke my heart to see this! He is one of many......and he's one of the children more capable of coping.

When the SENO came in to "observe" the 5 children that the Department had received applications for....for a sum total of 10 minutes per child.....she seemed to be more interested in observing the fact that in 3 classes there were 2 SNA's. Junior classes with 4 children in each who had been granted SNA's and this appears to have been the big issue. The 5 extra children were granted "Access" but the cost? A loss of 4.5 SNA posts.....deploy....share....Oh, but the children are in different classes, in different parts of LARGE school..... Tough... that's what you're getting... Work with it.. was the attitude. None of the other 16 Special Needs children were looked at that day to see if they could cope with "Shared Access". Not part of her brief for that particular visit!

So, just like that, at the flick of a pen we're gone......all the hard work, the effort, the dedication, the relationships with the children dismissed without a care......get them off our budget and onto Social Welfare's......our Dept will look soooo much better!

I now go in to help on a voluntary basis a few mornings a week as I know its needed badly, for the children's sake. Maybe not a great idea as it could put off the appeals process. I see the atmosphere has changed....people are stressed...remaining girls feeling they aren't doing enough because they physically can't....and most importantly children are regressing, floundering.

Yes Mr Quinn, our Country is in a huge mess and we are broke and now at the mercy of IMF/EU but at what cost? Vulnerable children becoming more vulnerable and dole queues growing even more......SNA's are value for money and a whole lot more.

Yours,

A sad, deflated and unemployed SNA.....

You can read Part 2 of The Life of an SNA here...... The One Who Stayed Behind.

xx

Ps: Your comments would be much appreciated. Thank you

Fun for Everyone....

2011-09-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Today was an unexpected fun-filled one. It was on Thursday afternoon when I picked up a leaflet at school heralding a'Family Sports Day hosted by the the Irish Sports Council in our local community Leisure Centre this Saturday. Sure what else would we be doing on a Saturday afternoon, besides me being on my laptop and WiiBoy being on his Xbox, I wondered. So, not being one to miss an opportunity to present non-xbox related activities to my son I shook off a threatening hang-over and whisked us both off to said leisure centre!

It was an amazing Indian summer kind of a day, unusual in itself, so we arrived in great form to find an equally amazing array of sporting activities to try out. For free. Everything is amazing when it's free, isn't it? Anyway, these are the sports that were on offer: archery, trampolining, boccia, old school games, buntus, olympic handball and others!

It was such a lovely day that some of the activities were held outside. Due to WiiBoy's interest in Taekwondo we headed off to try the Martial Arts first. The idea of punching 9 shades of you-know-what out of some punching pads proved too tempting to miss, I just had to go-a-punching....with all my might! And I threw in some kicks too! It was such fun that I had to continue on and try the swing kicks also. All my dancing days came in handy today, although I can no longer do kicks as high as I used to! Thankfully I have no photos of my martial Arts attempts. Unfortunately an official photographer came along, and when he was finished photographing the Community Guard in action, he couldn't resist taking shots of the Mad kickin' Mama!!

You'd think I'd be done then, wouldn't you? But oh no.... no stopping Jazzy when she's on a roll....

We headed off to try trampolining next, WiiBoy's other interest. He loved it and was actually quite good at it...

He even moved too quickly to be caught on camera!

Now, I know this trampolining is really just for kids and indeed, the place was full of them. And adults too, the 'responsible guardians' standing around watching.

I tried to desist and to just be the 'responsible adult', really.... I did. But, once again the temptation proved too much. I just had to get my almost-but-not-quite pentagenarian ass up on that trampoline....

I even tried a few basic moves...the tuck jump, touching shins, split-leap jump and a turning jump! Whoop....go the mad mama!!!

I must admit, I am very grateful that the official photographer wasn't around for my exhibition.

WiiBoy thoroughly enjoyed it, the art of Trampolining NOT my exhibition, and as there are regular classes available we are going to sign him up for this term.

They do adult classes too and although I'm tempted, I think I'll stick to my more sedate, mama-like exercise activities that I enjoy. Like Curves Gym and my weekly Urban Funk dance class where us funky red-hot mamas strut our stuff!! I SO enjoy those classes! And for as long as I can shake this pentagenarian (almost....not quite!) booty I will continue to do just that!

So, thanks Irish Sports Council and our local Council for such a fun day and for proving that sport/fun is indeed for all.

I see our local council has a Social Inclusion Week coming up in October. There are lots of events planned. It should be a lot of fun.

I also see that there's a youth flashmob planned too.

I'd come along to watch but clearly I can't be trusted to stay on the sidelines. I'd have this overwhelming compunction to join in....

Wait a minute...YOUTH flash mob?

Why restricted to youth?

I know a group of funky red-hot mamas who could see your youth flash mob and raise you a glide or a body-roll or ten.

Just sayin', like.

xx

A Book is Born....

2011-09-21T02:08:00.000-07:00

A brand new book has just been born!

And this is how it looks -----

Doesn't it look good?

Oh, the excitement....

As you can see it has been aptly named as......

Wit and Wisdom from the Parents of Special Needs Kids: Mostly True Stories of Life on the Spectrum (Volume 1)

This book was put together and edited by Lynn Hudoba over at AutismArmyMom with initial help from her blogger buddy BigDaddyAutism.

This book is a collection of articles written by over 40 bloggers who are parents of children with Special Needs.

There's even an article in there from yours truly!!

How terribly exciting!

Here's the blurb.....

Wit and Wisdom From The Parents of Special Needs Kids brings together dozens of the best writers in the blogosphere, sharing their stories of both the challenges and rewards of raising children with autism and other cognitive disabilities. More than forty essays are included in this unique compilation,covering topics such as sensory issues, the difficulties of social interaction, the impact on marriage and typical siblings, and the world of special educationand therapies. These parents cover the gamut of experiences -- from initially receiving the diagnosis for their child and reconsidering their expectationsfor the future to learning how to let go of children as young adults – as well as an emotional spectrum from sadness and loss, to the frustrations of assimilating not-so-typical children into the typical world, to the joy of living amongsttheir often hilarious quirks and obsessions. Wit and Wisdom From The Parents of Special Needs Kids is a must read for anyone whose life has been affected by intellectual disabilities. Every parent of a special needs child will identify with the life experiencesincluded in this book -- they are as varied, unique, and inspiring as the children themselves.

I look forward to getting my hands on my copy to see the wonderful stories that my fellow, very talented, blogger buddies have put forward.

I feel honoured to be included.

I may even be brave enough to read my own article!

I am curious to be reminded of what I wrote... I think!

Maybe you would like to buy a copy too? Or here if you're in Europe!

That would be great!

Oh, the excitement!

And the nerves!!

Does this mean I'm a..... 'published author' now??!!

That thought really settles my nerves!

xx

Making Our Voices Heard.....

2011-09-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

This has been a very busy week. It was another successful week completed at school, a week that saw Puppy Holly finally returned to her owners and a week that also saw parents of Special Needs children take to the streets and to the airwaves, as they protest against very severe Special Needs Education cuts.

This demographic group of people are not an easy group to galvanise in order to make their voices heard, you know. They are not victims but it does take enormous efforts in order for them to take to the streets, or to get to radio and TV stations etc to take a stand and fight for their children's consitutional and human rights.

Sorry, I apologise - I must be careful not to use sensational language here. Minister Rabitte might be reading and he might consider my statement above to be mere 'Hype'.

I heard a number of such ridiculous statements from two Ministers this week and I ~~vented my anger~~ expressed my dissatisfaction at them over the social media waves. On one occasion, so furious was I, that I drove smartly home in order to get to the twitter machine to share my responses and alleviate my soaring blood pressure. I couldn't allow them mislead the public like that.

On Monday (I think) Ruaidhri Quinn, Minister for Education, was on Newstalk Radio discussing his interesting plans for our Points System when he was thrown an apparent curveball in the final moments. He was asked about his thoughts on the SNA (Special Needs Assistant) cuts and in particular how they related to two specific specialised schools. His response, in line with his written response to my previous email to him, basically threw everything back on to the NCSE (the educational psychologists who assess the children and make recommendations) and the SENOs (who assess the children in school, check SNA allocations in each school and decide where the SNA axe falls.) They are the experts, he said. He can't have any say in their decisions, he's not qualified, you see.

I know you're not long in the job Minister Quinn but here's a little tip....YOU ARE THEIR BOSS. They are hired by the department that you are in charge of. Oh, and they make their decisions in line with criteria YOU set like, for example: the cap YOU set on the allocation of SNAs/Resource hours that they can sanction. They are also covered by a previous NCSE circular which appears to limit SNA allocations to available resources and effectively allows SENO's , without any medical qualifications whatsover, to over-rule the recommendations of a clinical psychologist. This may have been introduced by the previous administration but it's now your baby. Just in case you're under any illusions, like.

It is simply not good enough that they seperate their duties like that. The minister dictates criteria, NCSE and SENOs carry out their assessments and recommendations and inform the school who allocates the reduced resources as best they can. Due to the separation created between each of them no-one takes charge or is accountable and they can blame the other party. Well Minister Quinn: nice try but you ARE the accountable one.

The protest march took place on Wednesday and it was attended by a relatively small yet vociferous crowd, including yours truly. There were some great speeches and some chanting too. Minister Rabitte was interviewed out of earshot of us mere mortals and the interview shown on TV3 later that night. He made some ill thought-out remarks, I must say. The first one being the Hype one I mention above.....

This (us outside)... hype.. he said.

Ehh....I don't think the parents of children receiving 1 hour's education A DAY think they're hyping anything, Mr Rabitte. None of us are. We can see what's happening on the ground. You and your colleague Minister Quinn could too, if you cared to pay a visit to any of our schools and witness the effects of your vicious cuts.

Minister Rabitte told us a number of times that there was no money. Where are we going to get the money he pondered? You didn't try that line on Bank Of Ireland the previous week did you? And I'm pretty sure you didn't try it on AIB the very next day either, as you and your colleagues ploughed more billions into both their coffers to pay senior unsecured bondholders. You wouldn't consider even half-burning the bond holders, yet your Government has no problem in removing crucial educational supports from vulnerable children that will affect ALL in the classroom. And that's not HYPE, Minister Rabitte, that's FACT.

He told us all was ok, sure don't they allocate....what's that catch-all phrase again? Oh, yeah.... Access to an SNA

ACCESS TO SNA is NOT working Mr Rabitte. How can an SNA leave a high dependent child in one class to attend to a less dependent one in another? How can she attend to 2 children in 2 different classrooms (it's not always possible to keep them together) who need toileting, feeding or medication? The answer is that they can't, so other children are losing out. It's not that simple to just grant access to an SNA, hand it over to the school to deal with as you casually wipe your hands of the whole thing. Did you know, Ministers Quinn and Rabitte, that there are SNAs in schools all over Ireland not just practising the skills of bi-location but are actually tri-locating? That's not good for anyone, no-one could possibly benefit from this.

Minister Rabitte pointed out the huge increase in the numbers of SNAs since 2001, a reference no doubt to a perceived unsustainabilty now.

Ehh.... the huge SNA increase is largely due to the huge increase in Special Needs children attending mainstream school over that period. It is worth noting that it was the previous Government's policy to encourage (force in some cases) inclusion of special needs children into mainstream schools. They even *ahem* convinced some ABA schools to forego their status and become eclectic, specialised schools, before commencing the cull of SNAs. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that they quietly encouraged this creative application of the SNA care needs in order to make inclusion as successful as it has been, in most cases. At the very least they turned a blind eye to it. SNA allocation in specialised schools increased also but it's not like they're sitting around doing nothing all day. Jeez

Oh, and we are expecting your play on words now that the September 16th deadline is up. You know, when you assess new applications and release the 10% resources you held back. Don't go messing with our heads now and saying things like 'we've increased the allocations.' We're not that easily fooled.

It was pointed out that parents, schools etc misunderstood the SNA scheme...

NO....we DIDN'T misunderstand the SNA scheme, we were creative in getting the help our children need. And that help has proven largely successful.
.
This is all incredibly frustrating. These particular cuts are short term gain for long term pain, in my opinion.

We cannot let this slide by, we must continue to do our best to make our voices heard and to keep this topic alive in the public eye. We must not 'go away'. There are many ways we can make our voices heard, we can do it whilst supporting others as we constantly text radio and TV shows that are high-lighting the issue. We can continue protesting but that's hard to maintain. I do like the suggestion that we do an electronic bombardment. Everyone can easily take part in that.

Yes, we need to be creative and keep shouting.

All the children need us to continue to make our voices heard.

We could do with your support....this issue affects ALL in the classroom not just the Special Needs child.

xx

Surviving the Homework Cloud......

2011-09-08T15:06:00.000-07:00

Those of you who've been reading my blog for a long time will know the ASD Mainstream Journey we've been on. You will know how much I usually dread the new school year, new teacher, increased homework etc. You'll also know about the metaphor I use to describe the effect of this dreaded homework....the Homework Cloud.... I've written about it many times. It has permeated the sky above our house for many years but has slowly dissapated over the last year or so, to the extent that I wasn't that worried upon his return to school this year. My boy didn't disappoint me either, he's showing an incredible maturity and responsibility toward his school work, homework etc; this year. I sit in approving astonishment every evening as I see him, unprompted, take out his school books and just get on with it. Mostly. And I don't breathe a word. Actually, I don't breathe at all.....least I break the spell!

I've been wondering how on earth this transformation has occurred. Who flicked that magic switch? Who swapped my child with this grown up one? Did the Homework Fairy move in with us? So I trawled once more through my memory bank and my blog (just like I did for my Surviving the Meltdowns post) to find that, of course, this transformation did not happen over night. There was no magically high powered wind to disperse our Homework Cloud. Plain ole perseverence and sheer hard work seems to have been the apparent magic formula.

Please let me share some of our homework journey with you now. Maybe one paragraph, one sentence or even one word will prove helpful in some remote or minute way, as you try to navigate your own homework cloud.

You can read the first post I did on it in March 2009 here. In this post I discuss how we solved the conundrum of getting the ASD child to accept that some work belonging in school had to be done at home by introducing a Homework Folder!

I also share suggestions for the optimum sitting postion in Sitting Pretty and ideas, like a Rice Box and trampoline for Staying Calm before moving on to actually doing the work! There are some ideas for Staying on Task like visual schedules and rewards. It's detailed enough so have a read if you think it's what you're looking for.

Before discussing the Best Time to do homework I talk about the expected Duration a child should spend on his/her homework, at great length. My thing throughout the past few years was to agree with teacher each year how long she expected any of the children in her class to spend on homework and stick rigidly to that. I give ideas for some specific subjects and to support my stance I point out, that......

".....I honestly believe it is harder for the ASD, ADD or ADHD child. They've a lot more to process during the schoolday, sensory issues to deal with and background noises to block out so they can even hear what the Teacher is saying. Then when they can hear what's being said they have to process and sort out what Teacher is actually saying. Head wrecking stuff indeed. And then they come home and they're expected to do Homework??? No wonder they're so tired in the evenings. God love them."

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The next post I wrote was in September 2009 and you can read it in full here. Things hadn't improved much since the previous post so it was time to roll up the sleeves and get stuck in! This is the post in which I introduced my Weapons of Mass Instruction (see pic below!) and this is what I had to say....

Getting Back into the Groove and the Homework Cloud...

....I believe that the issues the ASD (incl ADD, ADHD and Dyspraxia) PDDNOS and whatever-you're-having-yourself kid faces when doing homework are:

CONCENTRATION. Hard enough during the school day let alone sitting still for however long it takes to do homework.
ORGANISATION. As regards: Taking down the homework correctly, bringing the right books home to complete the homework and finally organising themselves to actually do the homework.
COPING. With all the above and the individual issues that affect the child (e.g. writing skills) which makes doing homework that bit harder.

That's quite a lot for a young child to cope with isn't it?

The things that I believe the ASD etc kid needs to know are:

EXACTLY what's expected of him/her.
HOW LONG he/she has to spend on homework. Teachers should share this at the beginning of the year so there's no confusion. Our lovely new Teacher did exactly that!
YOU UNDERSTAND that it's difficult for him/her : "I Know this is hard for you......
HELP is available : ..... I can help you, when you feel calmer.....
HOMEWORK MUST BE DONE : ....... because homework must be done "

Words in italics are what I say to wiiboy. I also re-enforce the last one (when he's ready to hear it) by saying " if it's not done you'll have to hand a note to Teacher explaining why it's not done." Most Teacher's request that the children hand up a note . I feel this places ownership of the situation and responsibility on the child.

In our case, wiiboy is not taking down all the info required so when he tried to do the easy subject first (maths, of course!) we couldn't do it as he hadn't the page number written down (I had to text to get it). That was a bad start. It got worse when we opened the Geography and History books. The work was less structured, more discussion based, then write (red flag!) down your findings. What didn't help was that Teacher had given them more instructions which seemed to differ with what was written down so I was confused too! There was also quite a lot of homework.

It's been my experience that Teachers give quite a bit of homework but they don't always expect it all to be done .... they are open to negotiation especially when there are special circumstances. They are aware that some kids can complete 5 maths questions (that use the whole alphabet there's so many parts to them!) with no problems but they accept others can't. Although Maths is relatively easy ( as long as they're not the "wordy" questions!) for the ASD child, sitting still and writing ( damn red flag again!) out the answers isn't. A solution might be that, rather than spend the 20 mins of allotted time on one Maths question the child could do an agreed number of sums from each question, thereby covering all concepts being revised that evening. If they can do the first few sums with no difficulty then there's no need to complete them all is there?

We all know that homework is important but it is just Revision of what's been taught that day. I reiterate my strong held belief that the ASD etc child has so much more to contend with . They've had a lot to process and cope with during the school day and need time to wind down. They also need time for the extra-curricular activities which have no doubt been chosen for the O.T. and Social Skills benefits they provide. They also need play time with a friend which provides more Social Skills. This cannot be under estimated.
And so, to fix.

For that particular evening I just kept came repeating my words in italics above. When he eventually got back to the table I was able to keep him calm by showing him how I could help, and by sticking to the time limits . The message is: it's OK if it's not all done as long as you do the best you can. It took two and a half hours ( including breaks for tantrums and dinner!)to achieve 40 minutes of homework. The second message is that homework must be done.

I then put a note to Teacher in the daily communication diary ( so glad I kept that up!) explaining the difficulties , making a suggestion and asking to meet. I subsequently got a lovely reply and I'll meet with her next week! So she's, really nice, confident, competent AND accommodating! Excellent. You know, most Teachers are, particularly when they see how interested and committed you are in helping your child reach his/her true potential.

Teacher and SNA can help by making sure that he's organised :he has all the info taken down, correct books in bag ( in time he'll have to take responsibility for that himself) and understands exactly what's expected of him. As he's a visual learner I'm going to ask for any visuals that can be used or perhaps a diagram setting out what has to be done in the less structured homework might help. I will also be asking for guidelines each day as to what Teacher considers to be essential homework for wiiboy to complete so that his 45 minutes is wisely spent.

We already know how long to spend and I can help him to be organised at home. I got a great tip from a Rollercoaster thread and I'll make a visual step-by-step guide ( 1. take out Homework journal 2. Take out books etc, etc.) Some great tips there... check it out! fortunately this link has been removed>

I covered concentration (staying on task) and coping in my previous post linked above. We need some more help with coping with regards to the writing issues this year. Maybe mind maps again? He hasn't got the laptop yet, I'm working on "acquiring" one though! I'm not quite sure how helpful it will be at home, as it'll take time for him to be proficient enough on it to complete homework.

To supplement all the above and to keep him on task, I decided to use his obsessions and set up a reward system. hence my new weapons above! I made:

A check list. He loves getting check marks for good behaviours so I detailed the behaviours I expect from him: Getting off games when asked? check. Homework done? Check...etc. I also give a bonus one every day to highlight a particular good behaviour that day.

Pass cards. Oh, I do so love these! A little gem. You can see them in pictures above. If he wants to play on computer ( or wii) or nintendo dsi or watch TV he takes a pass which allows him 30 minutes play. He must have earned them and if it's a school day homework must be done first. After he's used a pass he must then do 30 minutes of free play ( e.g. trampoline or anything that doesn't have a screen!) Obviously he can only have a couple a day... say 2 of each ... to start off with.

It's working a treat! He loves them. It also helps that they use cards for toilet breaks in school too. Again it's giving him ownership of the situation and responsibility. Wiiboy has moved on from the token reward boards etc so this really works for him.
If you have a Homework Cloud hovering over your house then I hope you find this of some help.
Please, please do talk to the Teacher ... they will accommodate you. Take ideas that you think will work, use them in conjunction with your child's interests and try to link them to what's used in school.
Hopefully then all our Homework clouds will dissipate ... just a little!

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A couple of weeks later I wrote this post and things were still quite dicfficult and I was very worried about his self esteem. At this time we tried doing homework with a friend and found it to be unsuccessful saying....

"We did homework with a friend, twice. That only enforced the knowledge that his friends can complete the given work in the allotted time. Particularly the day when he spent his 20 minutes of maths time railing against the unfairness ( that pesky "rigid sense of unfairness" again!) of having to rewrite the question in order to complete it. Meanwhile his friend completed all 3 maths questions with no problems. Well, actually he did need help but rather than have a tantrum about it he just simply asked for help."

There have been other cloud covered homework moments since then but they have lessened as time went on.

Have these strategies of mine worked or has he simply grown up? Personally I believe it's a bit of both as I see the resulting behaviours this year.

Three days ago we tried homework with a friend again. I figured the fact that he suggested they do the same subject in order to help each other was a good omen, particularly looking ahead to the project-based secondary school years to come. We will try to create more opportunities like this I think.

We are still working on remembering the books in order to complete homework, but we're not unusual in that! Last year, with the help of his SNA, we tried a more visual homework chart that also noted the books he required. He no longer wants to use it so I may consider adding a column to his homework journal, whereby he checks off each subject as he puts the text book, with copybook inside, into his bag?

Anyway we're off to a good start with this school year here at chez Jazzy it would seem. However, before you cement that vision you may have of me in your head, polishing my hard-earned halo whilst brushing my blue-eyed boy's golden locks, let me re-assure you that we are only one week into this school year (I'm no fool!) and some battles still remain.This evening it took me an hour to get him off xbox and up to bed at 9.50pm. On a school night. But that's a battle for another day. Like.... tomorrow!

I hope this is of some help and I encourage you to work with your child's Class Teacher, Resource Teacher, SNA and the Homework Fairy (I'll send her over!) and hopefully you can come up with some Weapons of Mass Instuction of your own ;-)

Good luck!

xx

The Puppy

2011-09-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

I was just driving back from the school yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking forward to finally getting back into the routine of going to the gym, being more sociable offline as well as on, vising mam and Dundrum Town centre etc; quietly screaming WHOOP...I'M FREE to myself, now that WiiBoy is finally back at school.

Then I saw a little black creature playing on the road in front of me, darting in and out of traffic then stopping bang smack in the middle of the road to stare at me....at me. I stopped the car, she stared at me some more then scarpered off to the green area in front of the Dart Station.... Come follow me she seemed to say..

Totally ignoring the other screaming voice inside my head NOOOO....DON'T DO IT I stopped the car and went back for the little black creature. She had a lovely glitzy collar on her so I was sure someone would claim her within the hour, then I could carry on with my day and get back to my so-called Yummy Mummy life.

So, I took her home to MIND. Mistake Number One....NEVER bring a cute black 10 week old (approx) puppy into your house....

And don't let her (yes, it's a she) find a sunny spot to flake out in....

Absolutely do NOT make her a bed, however temporary it is.....

She might check it out, you see.....

And like it SO much that she sleeps for an hour.

While she was asleep I made some phone calls and printed off some posters as her owner must be found, you see she's not staying. She can't really. I'm finally getting my life back. We like to go on holidays when we can and it's expensive enough without the cost of kennelling. In fact the extra costs involved all round may make holidays impossible and I REALLY couldn't cope with that. She's a Labrador Cross, she'll grow big. We're not doing another big dog.

No she's not staying. I CAN and WILL say no to this face.....

                                  (Oh..... God. How can ANYONE say no to that face!)

As the owner wasn't found before 2.30pm Mistake Number 2 was made..... never EVER let your child meet a cute, 10 week old puppy. Nothing good will come of it....

And there will be tears when she has to go, no matter how cute she is....

I will NOT be won over by platitudes like she was meant for you or she was sent to you to replace your missing dog. No way am I falling for that....and I did not say something similar to Mr Jazzy when we found Scamp a few years ago! Nope, wasn't me! See, there's another reason we can't keep her: Sod's law. it governs my life you see, always has and always will. As soon as we replace Scamp with another dog you know what'll happen, don't you? A phone call form a Vet somewhere who finally scans him for that microchip.....sigh.

She has to go.

It means nothing that she has bonded with me (her with me, NOT me with her....got it?!) and followed me around all day like a .... well, like a lost puppy!

It means diddly squat that I slept on the sofa last night with her in her bed nearby. She yelped every time I left the room and I didn't want her to keep everyone awake, you see.

And just because she slept well means nowt.... I woke to a pile of poo and pee!

I am not fooled by her apparent docile, obedient nature.... she's a manipulating creature, old beyond her years, reeling me in. I'm no sucker ~~Holly~~ eh... Puppy. Uh Uh...not me.

I did not partake in the name suggestions on facebook last night... someone must have hacked into my account. And just because WiiBoy and I have taken to calling her Holly does NOT mean that she can stay.

She has to go. But her owner has not come forward yet leading me to believe that she was abandoned yesterday morning. Recessionary abandonment no doubt.

How sad....

xx

NOTE:: If you lost a puppy on 02/09/2011 in the Shankill area please contact me or the local Gardai who have my contact details.

Summer Growing

2011-08-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

This summer, the one that stretched endlessly ahead of us a mere 7 weeks ago, empty, waiting to be filled with fun non-Xbox related activities, is now over. Just like that it seems, and it flew by.

We occupied ourselves with visits to friends, playtime with other friends, trips out, swimming, climbing hills, playing on the beach and walking in the park. Of course there was some Xbox play throughout this eclectic mix of summer activities and whilst there were some rows, the predicted XboxWars thankfully did not materialise.

In the last week or so I have noticed some changes in my 11 year old boy. My boy has done some growing this Summer, it would seem.....

He has gained his usual extra summer inch or so in height. Not unusual, I know, but the thing is this inch puts him very close to me in height! I knew it was imminent but that knowledge did nothing to stem the level of shock I felt upon sudden realisation of the fact!

Buying his school shoes the other day was also a bit of an eye opener. We went to Clarke's children's shoe Department, the one were I bought his first pair of shoes 9 1/2 years ago, only to find that he was officially a size 6, the last children's size that they do, with no room for further growth! Summer or otherwise!

We were sent to the Men's Department to get shoes for my 11 year old baby, whose first back tooth only fell out the day beforehand!! He ended up getting a size 8 (small fitting shoes) to allow growing space in these cost-cutting times! In a size 8. SIZE 8, people! Does the Tooth fairy come to a child with size 8 feet, I wondered? Turns out, she does. Size 8....... that would be twice the size of my new shoes.

My boy has grown in ways other than height and shoe size this summer though. He has somehow managed to simultaneously retain some childish humour whilst also exhibiting some new pre-teen maturity. When it suits him, of course!

He has shown some great responsibility in certain situations and we've had some really good almost-adult conversations. At other times I've also been treated to more of his infamous Random Words and song parodies. Just to keep some balance, you see.

He has made some very cohesive arguments in relation to decisions of mine he wanted overturned. His Master Manipulator side came to the fore in one particular decision that I would love to share with you. Alas, it us not my story to share. Suffice it to say, I listened to him, studiously researched his arguments and found them to be supported, before finally capitulating. This once. Sigh!

He has shown amazing willingness to try new foods this summer. He tried some sensorally challenging fruits such as: bananas, grapes, apples and strawberries for example! He also tried Hoi Sin Prawns and has most recently eaten crab cakes and parma wrapped chicken stuffed with Brie and pesto!! And finally, most recently he has eaten a chicken wrap with lettuce! Yes..... lettuce! Truly amazing and means that his school lunch box will be far more interesting and much healthier this year.

(Yes...that would be some Bribery Crisps you see there!)

All of this is important as we face his final year in primary education. Tomorrow my boy and his classmates will commence 6th class. He is excited it seems and showing a great willingness to go to bed on time, be up early and have all his clothes ready to go. He has also placed his order with the resident cook - that would be moi- for a rather healthy breakfast of poached egg with (not on) toast He has a plan for homework after school and for reduced xbox play on school days.

He is growing up and never ceases to amaze me. I seriously hope this year goes well for him. I feel less trepidation about this year than any other.

And now I'd better go and finish wrapping school books and putting names on everything. Wouldn't do for me to let him down when he's putting all that effort in!

Good luck to all of you for the coming school year.

xx

The Dream.....

2011-08-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lot of time this summer trying to get WiiBoy to just go out and play. You know, outside, where all the other kids are playing, on their bikes, on the green, looking at bugs in their gardens or just hanging out. You know, the regular stuff that regular kids do.

WiiBoy is a home boy. Happy to stay here and play on the xbox, and bounce on the trampoline when I absolutely insist he go outside and get some air and exercise. I've made a concerted effort to do things and go places wth him every other day but it's exhausting! Sometimes I just want to hang out at home too. But hanging out at home means extended xbox play. That said there have been no XboxWars this summer, not really and I'm very proud of him for that. He has also befriended a friend he fell out with last year and they've played a lot together. Outside play still involves the trampoline..... and nerf guns! They take turns at shooting the sponge bullets at each other when on the trampoline. It looks like great fun!

But when he's alone at home I often ask him, in desperate tones, to just go outside and play! Anywhere. Go to the green, I tell him, you never know who you'll meet. He's just not interested. I tell him how as kids we were sent outside and not let back in 'til meal times! Nah, still not bothered by my hard luck story!

Then last night I had a dream, an awful dream. A dream I actually woke myself up from it was so awful.

I dreamed that WiiBoy did go out to play. he went to a green, or somewhere away from the house.

And he didn't come back.

A week later there was still no sign of him.

It was one of those dreams where things happened slowly and no matter how hard I tried somethings were impossible to achieve.

I was, of course, worried sick about him but I wasn't out walking the streets looking for him. We didn't call the police for a few days and I was upset about that, I recall. I think I was waiting to hear from him.

He had his phone with him you see, I always insist he carries it in real life, in case someone runs away with him! And I have to remind him to switch the damn thing on.

In the dream he phoned or texted us, he said he was fine and didn't want to come home. So unlike our home boy.

I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable and upset in this dream and had a feeling of imminent doom. Something really bad was going to happen. In fact, so strong was this feeling that I may have even made myself dream that he texted us. I definitely made myself wake up.

I have not been able to get this dream out of my head all day.

What does it mean?

I'm an avid reader and my genre of choice is psychological thrillers. I devour them. Can't get enough of them. I had just started reading Michael Connelly's latest The Reversal last night, but was only one chapter in. A child was abducted and killed in this book. In more recent books I've read children were abducted and some of them showed up months later. I think that's the feeling I had in my dream. Or it's a feeling I made myself feel... he's going to come back.

Maybe my psychological thriller addiction is why I had this dream.

Maybe my psychological fear/dread/excitement take your pick over his impending Teendom and an unconcious fear of losing my little boy was the reason behind the dream.

Or maybe it was just a dream.

An awful dream.

It's okay son, you don't have to go outside and play after all.

xx

Radioactive Boy

2011-08-23T14:43:00.000-07:00

For a short time today WiiBoy had radioactive blood running through his veins and was briefly renamed.... Radioactive Boy. Oh the excitement, as we navigated the populace, surrounded by his effervescent green glow whilst trying to keep a 6 feet radius between him and the little, old or impregnated people!

'Oh my God... What have you done to your child', I hear you cry. Don't worry, I haven't fed him anything grown near Sellafield, Chernobyl or Fukushima. Nor did we make a midnight flit to visit one of his favorite TV families in Springfield, USA in order to visit Homer's place of work!

No, today WiiBoy had his yearly kidney check-up and this year's check-up involved a detailed DMSA scan. This requires some magic cream being applied to the child's hands and a cannula subsequently inserted into one hand. Or maybe two hands if the first isn't successful.... sigh! This is followed by the highly sophisticated jelly-on-the-belly ultra- sound scan where, at first glance, all seems unchanged from previous years. At this stage young children get a lollipop for being very brave.... 11 year olds though are seemingly considered to be way too cool for such trivia!

From there we are whisked away to the scarily entitled ....cue scary music.... Nuclear Imaging Department (no sugar coating here!) where WiiBoy's veins are injected with massive doses of radioactive material, immediately transforming him into a green glowing Radioactive Boy for the rest of the day. He must avoid contact with other humans or they will turn to jelly and he must return before the third hour has passed or he himself will disintegrate into a sniveling heap of green goo and....

Nah.... only kidding ya.... had you going there though didn't I? Go on... admit it!! Hehehehe....

Okay, he only gets the teeniest amount of radioactivity that takes 3 hours to course his veins and make his kidneys bright for the next scan! We have to disappear for 3 hours and must avoid contact with young and old people and pregnant women. The lovely young Doctor actually asked me if there was any chance I might be pregnant! The fact he thought I was even slightly the right side of child bearing years made my day! As he endeavoured to avoid children in the Children's Department (a conundrum if ever there was one) Radioactive Boy also made a very determined effort to avoid his own mum on the way out....given that, in his newly super-powered eyes, she fit the criteria of 'old people'!!

We solved the lunch problem by having our first drive-through Mc Donalds ever, sitting in the car! With 2 hours to go we braved 2 shops with a very responsible Radioactive Boy studiously giving wide berth to the relevant people who must be avoided! He ensconced himself and his itouch in a safe corner in Dunnes Stores whilst I got school trousers for him and a little something for me to try on. I whisked him into the changing rooms where the ASD Truth Bug revealed itself and I was told.... 'No, you look fat in that' and apparently, 'Yes' my 'boobs do look big in that'.... Sigh. This of course totally negated all the joy of the Doctor's earlier comment but at least I didn't waste any money buying the outfit!! It also proves that the powers of the ASD Truth Bug is totally impervious to the measly effects of extreme doses of radioactive super powers.

After an argument-inducing trip to the Game store we high tailed back to the hospital an hour early for the last and final stage of today's exciting trip... The Photo Shoot!

Radioactive Boy's glowing kidneys were considered bright enough for the Gamma Camera Scan. This is where he must lie absolutely still for two 10 minute periods while his 'picture' is taken!! He managed it, just about. Well, he is older now and this is his third such scan. He did good. And I got to see both glowing kidneys! Although it was expected it's still a little upsetting to see the marked differences between both kidneys :-(

Radioactive Boy retained his super powers until approx 8pm this evening and had to avoid outside play with his friends. A real sacrifice that. It turns out that even Super Heroes like Radioactive Boy like to play Xbox, just as much as WiiBoy himself does.....so online play with friends was the perfect solution for him!

A perfect end to his day:-)

The Super Hero's mum was in no fit state to argue!

xx

Blog Gems: Air Your Archives #20: Change

2011-08-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've joined in my pal Jen's Blog Gems over at the King and Eye and I'm delighted to join in with this fortnight's linky, which is being hosted by Varda over at The Squashed Bologna. Ya still with me? Good!

This is what Jen says about Blog Gems:

How many posts do you have languishing in your archives? Great posts that will never be dusted off and brought out to breathe again! Maybe you created fabulous content before you had lots of followers, or maybe you have been blogging for years and your current followers haven't seen your older material.

Blog Gems - Air Your Archives is a fortnightly linky list where we will give a prompt and you select a post from your archives that fits the prompt. You do not have to create content for the prompt, unless you want to. All you have to do is copy and paste the url of the post into the linky list. Voila, an old post gets a second shot!

This fortnight's theme is 'Change'

For my entry I've chosen a post written last year, just before my WiiBoy's 11th birthday, about his voice and the changes I was noticing in him....

The Sound of his Voice

It's kind of poignant right now as I anticipate another change in his voice in the next year or so..... *Gulp*

Pop over to The Squashed Bologna to enter your archived post!

xx

My Teenage Crush....

2011-08-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

It was 34 years ago today that Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll died in a most humiliating way. In a way that of course, my WiiBoy finds absolutely hilarious!

I must admit that due to the passing of time my addled memory didn't remember the anniversary until I saw it on twitter. Although that could also be due to school holiday bedlam that is my life at present. I mean, I don't even know what day of the week it is mostly let alone the date...or the month. Hell, I barely remember my own name these days!

But I do remember that day, 34 years ago. The day that I woke up to the most devastating news ever in my 15 short years on this planet! I thought my entire world had ended that morning. I remember going outside, hanging out with the gang on the road. We were all shocked, but I was devastated. I cried for two days!!

Are you shocked at my admission? Are you slowly backing away from your laptop, frantically searching for the 'unfollow this weirdo's blog NOW' button in shocked amazement? Not yet? Well hang around then, there's more....

Most teenagers have crushes on boys. I did too but I was a shy teenager then and I was kind of afraid of boys! I did, kind of, have a boyfriend at the time but I was besotted with Elvis Presley....I swooned over him and talked about him constantly! My area of special interest you might say ;-)

I can't believe I'm admitting to this but I collected every photo, fact or newspaper item on The King that I could find! A girl across the road from me was equally besotted and she had some great photos too. We pooled our resources and made a.... wait for it.... a scrapbook!! We even had a carefully monitored joint custody over it! Hilarious, or what?! Well, it was a gentler pre-digital (no.. NOT pre-historic) time!!

I devoured anything I could get on him. I got Elvis LP's (remember them?) for Christmas presents. My brother got me a book all about the King's life that was my absolute most prized possession for many years. I must have read that book from cover to cover many, many times and digested every fact in it. It may even be still in my possession, somewhere.

Not only that but I even joined the official Elvis Presley fan club (OMG..it still exists!!) anxiously watching the post for the monthly little booklet that would come to my door!! Oh, the innocence! Before he died I dreamed of going to see him in concert in America when I was older and had a job!

I of course watched the Elvis Presley movies every time they were on. We only had a couple of TV stations back then and I think RTE showed a weekly Elvis movie?. Oh God, I now not only sound really old...I sound extremely demented! And there's more....

Let me qualify what I'm about to reveal, there was no YouTube back then. Ok? Just bear that in mind, right? *takes deep breath*.....

One Christmas my parents gave me a present of a tape recorder with a plug-in mic. We had great fun taping ourselves 'singing'. I soon found another more... ahem.... creative use for this device. You will NOT believe this but....Oh God I'm laughing here just thinking about this! I bought a load of blank tapes and every time an Elvis movie was on I would be found sitting right in front of the only TV screen in the house, poised with tape recorder and mic in hand waiting for the King to sing!! I had it down to a fine art and could correctly guess when he was about to do so. I had every song from every movie, together with some pre and post song dialogue on a collection of tapes that I listened to constantly! I bet if I watched an Elvis movie now I could repeat those lines as well as sing the songs!!

I can also admit to being particularly besotted with a particular Elvis movie with a the lead female with my name. Oh....swoonville as Elvis looked at her, danced with her and kissed her...all the time saying my name!! Ohhh....teenage bliss!!

Oh dear, how sad am I? And yet, still there's more...

Stupid RTE stupidly decided on some stupid whim to cancel regular showings of Elvis movies. I was horrified. How very dare they, I thought to myself and in a show of defiance, and perhaps my future bolshieness, I wrote a very strong letter to RTE asking them to reconsider!! They didn't, unfortunately!

So that's it. My teenage crush on Elvis Presley! I'm still a fan but not to the same extent, obviously! My brother also got me the Elvis Gold Collection CD a few years ago and although it's a treasured possession it's not on my iTouch. See... I have made the smooth transition into the digital era!

Does that restore your faith in me?

Are you slowly creeping back to your laptop and stepping away from that 'Unfollow..' button, feeling safer in the knowledge that I have not truly lost the plot?

I do hope so!

'Cos I'm not that sad, not really. After all there are two Elvis songs being used in two TV advertisements at present and I'm sure, if I try really hard, I might even remember some movie dialogue for them!!

Thanks twitter for plunging me back into my Elvis adulation era. I think! This truly has been a trip down memory lane!

I'll leave you with this YouTube (I really have moved on!) clip of Elvis singing King Creole....

Enjoy!

xx

Surviving the Meltdowns....

2011-08-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

Oh how time flies, even when at times you feel you're stuck in a tantrum filled disaster zone, as you struggle through some days. Time may even be the great healer we've been told it is. But the biggest surprise of all to me with regards to time is how time actually makes you forget.

I've recently been asked how we've survived and dealt with the meltdowns over the years. I mentioned the Incredible 5 Point Scale as I usually do but then kind of struggled to remember more. What did we do? Where have all the meltdowns gone to anyway? How did that happen? Sure, they weren't that bad really, not as bad as others experience.... where they?

The fear of the mere thought of me losing the plot entirely sent me trawling through my memory-bank..... and my blog archives. The beauty of blogging, eh?

How could I ever forget the daily 2 hour crying/screaming sessions from birth when I pushed him in his buggy for long walks every time I could?

How could I forget the pre-diagnosis' terrible-twos that started at age 12 months and lasted for....well....a very long time?!

How could I have forgotten all the tears and tantrums over 'being first' at getting in and out of the car for EVERY journey and whenever I went a different route? How I always drove around 'til he fell asleep so that we could both recover from the exhaustion? How he always wanted to be first at everything. And I do mean everything, including going to the toilet. I won't even begin to recount how he tried to resolve that issue one day.

What about the disastrous summer of 2004 which included the major tantrum because we had forgotten a precious purple toy? That episode started with an ear-splitting, screaming drive down the M11, resulting in eventual abandonment of the planned outing, culminating with me getting 2 black eyes from a toy (NOT the favoured purple one, I might add) been flung at me and saw me in tears and sipping a brandy in the back garden at 3 in the afternoon.

How could I have forgotten all those incidents and many more besides and, of course, how terribly upsetting it is to see your child so upset and out of control with no way of getting himself out of it?

The truth is I haven't forgotten, nor will I ever forget. Not ever. These episodes are all filed away in my memory-bank, ever so slightly diminished by the passing of time and the faint, rose-tinted glasses that I may have been sporting recently. Let me take off those glasses for a while and try to share our experiences with you....

The first post of mine that I looked at (from 2009) I remember well, I had just forgotten how severe the episodes were becoming. We had just gone through a couple of awful episodes and I needed to act fast. I implemented the aforementioned Incredible 5 Point Scale by Kari Dunn Buron at very short notice and wrote my What Does Anger look Like? post. His artistic impression of what he thinks he looks like when angry still shocks me, even in it's simplicity, to this day and reinforces how upsetting these episodes must be for our children. This post still gets hits every day...probably more to do with the title than anything I've written! Nonetheless it's worth a read and I stand over everything I wrote in it. Following that post I also wrote Staying With The programme and Seeing The Bigger Picture expressing my fears over my son's future if we did not instill some self-regulation skills....pronto.This is also a post that I completely stand over and worth a read.

The relaxation book When My Autism Gets Too Big also by Kari Dunn Buron is also worth considering. Both books work on getting the child to acknowledge how they feel at various emotional stages, getting them to recognise and name those stages and eventually implementing a coping strategy. That's what I like about them. The first book in particular gives behavioural examples that are very helpful. It's my honest belief that the child must learn these life skills in order to survive in our society! It is very difficult for them but they must learn it, take responsibility for their actions/choices and implement their learned self-regulation skills.

Which brings us to the area of punishment, a point of major conflict! In this I believe in teaching the coping skills first and if the child chooses not to implement them only then does he/she get punished. I really don't see the point (and I have tried it!) of punishing a child for hitting out when he/she feels angry without also teaching them an alternative, more appropriate way to behave, for example. Of course hitting is not allowed and a punishment is warranted but I think it's far more effective if the child is taught how to deal with it first... in our case it's 'what do you do if someone hits you/makes you angry?'....... 'walk away or tell an adult' . If he didn't do either of those then there were consequences. Bear in mind it took 2 to 3 long years of constant reiteration for this strategy to become second nature so buckle down for the long haul and don't get discouraged ;-)

I can't recall precisely all the steps we've taken and I know as helpful as both the above-mentioned books are we didn't implement them entirely. But that's the beauty of them, you can adapt them to suit your child's circumstances. In fact that's what we did, we implemented bits of various programmes to get the desired results. For example we taught self-regulation skills as I've laid out here and motivated him by relying on ~~bribery~~ reward systems! I give an example of that in the Angry post above and I also detail the Pass Cards I created in this post about dealing with homework meltdowns, see here. I'm going to re-post that blog post when school restarts in September, it has some good advice actually!!

I also recall doing some role-playing under the guidance of our Behavioural Specialist (when we had one!) that was very helpful. We enacted a couple of scenarios with the 3 of us interchanging the roles. He seemed to learn from that. In conjucnction with this programme, that I just cannot recall the name of, he completed a Feelings Diary. Each week we worked on an emotion and each day he had to make some entries into his 'feelings Diary'.... e.g: I feel sad when... At the same time he filled in a reward card with stars for each entry in the feelings diary and at the end of the week (delayed gratification) he got a surprise! A gentle and very effective programme that is a great forerunner to the programmes I mention above. Pity I can't remember the title.

Now I do realise that meltdowns vary from child to child along the spectrum and triggers and solutions differ also. All I can do here is to share what I believe worked for us and give some pointers, such as:

* Determine the triggers and avoid them at first.

*Work through the 5 point scale bit by bit.

*As you do the above help your child determine the coping phrases that lets him/her know help is available. These phrases will replace anger/screaming/hitting. For example: I need help..... I need a break.... I need to leave the room... depending on where on the anger scale he is and whatever phrase your child has chosen.

*Initially regularly ask what number on the scale he/she feels at various stages during the day and acknowledge and name the emotion(s) for him/her. This will help to embed the strategies.

*Re-introduce the triggers gradually together with solutions and/or the learned coping.phrases. After all, if homework is a trigger it can't be avoided forever! Reduce the amount of homework too (or whatever activity is the trigger) so that a successful outcome is more likely, thereby increasing his self-esteem;-)

*Lavish praise, congratulate, hell...throw a party every time he/she implements ANY part, however minute, of the behavioural plan you're working from! They respond SO well to praise :-) Of course if they get through homework (or whatever the trigger is) without having to implement any strategy then you may call all the relatives round for a knees-up!! But NOT if that's a trigger!! Obviously....

* Adversely don't even attempt to force them to implement any part, however minute, of said plan if they're mid-meltdown. Totally pointless in my opinion, they're incapable of it so it's probably too much to ask of them. If you can't get in with a gentle reminder ( prompt them with learned phrase e.g: Do you need a break' encouraging him to repeat, then respond immediately) just before the red mist descends I've learned that it's better to ride the storm, remove them to a quiet place and when calm settles have a little chat. Ask them what they think they should have done instead of screaming/hitting etc. Once they say the agreed coping phrase then its hugs, cuddles and lavish praise...with a promise that they'll try harder next time;-) More flies with honey... and all that.

*Never, ever forget the power of a good ~~bribe~~ reward system....ever ;-) Implement one. NOW.

* Rewards can be immediate, incremental, long term or a mixture of all 3 depending on your child and how they are with delayed gratification. My child has learned to deal with this over the years and can wait quite a while for his treat/reward. He can even save his own pocket-money (tie that into your reward system if you can) and wait until he's able to purchase his desired object. Rewards don't have to be huge or even tangible. As I say in my reward posts above my son works for check marks which lead to a larger item.

*I have learned that the gentler, more structured punishment/consequences method works better. I have also learned to deal with the bad parenting guilty feelings that go hand in hand with that method. Mostly.

*Consider this..... If a child has issues with delayed gratification or has a card that allows them 'skip queues' as waiting is difficult for them then why would grounding them or taking away gaming privileges for a week, or even a day, help with their angry outbursts? Expect screams for the whole week......and, I reckon, huge self esteem deflation with that one!

Now might be a good time for any parents of NT children or behavioural specialists reading to press the 'next blog' button! Apologies if this goes against all your beliefs, this is what has worked for us...what more can I say?!

*If putting a child in time-out for a minute for each birthday is appropriate when younger then why can't banning all screen-time (for example) for a shorter period be acceptable punishment for a 9 year old? Not that time-out was EVER a successful method for us, a complete disaster more like. Children on the Autism spectrum are different and teaching them appropriate behaviours means tweaking the existing models, simple as that. In my opinion. I've withdrawn screen time on numerous occasions for a 30 minute period and it has been successful. That time can be increased as they learn to tolerate it. Basically the time away from a favoured activity should be tailored to the tolerance levels of the child... and perhaps just a tad higher so that he feels the effect ;-)

*It is perfectly ok, in my opinion, to avoid going places or doing things that really upset your child. I know that feels like giving in and the Bad Parenting guilty feelings will take hold. It's easy for others to give their well meaning advice but they have absolutley no idea of how things are in your house and your life. Trust your instincts and have total faith in the knowledge that you...yes, you... know your child best. In time your child will be able to cope with some things that he/she couldn't previously. I know I upset family members many times by missing meals out/visits etc but I gradually didn't care because I knew what was right for us. Now he goes anywhere, no problems. All in good time...

*Ensure that your child knows why they're being punished. The young ASD/Aspie kid won't get why no computer after dinner 'cos he/she pulled little Mary's hair at 10am that morning! An Immediate response is better, I believe.

*Implementing all of this needs your complete focus, so no making dinner, ironing clothes, facetweeting whilst this is going on! This I learned the hard way! That said though, it is good to retreat into the background a little, as progress is made, so they learn to do it themselves;-)

*Apart from any programmes we may put in place our children will mature just like their peers and with that comes some better behaviours. They also learn from their peers which is why supported inclusion in mainstream, where appropriate is so important.

*Every night as you put your darling child to bed, regardless of how the day has gone, snuggle them, tell them you love them as usual then choose one thing, just one thing that they did well that day....... praise them for that one thing and tell them how proud of them you are. This is the loveliest and most effective piece of advice I was ever given:-)

* After you have come downstairs, pat yourself on the back...... then pour yourself one very large glass of wine ;-) This is crucial to the success of the whole programme.

Mammys need praise and ~~bribes~~ rewards too you know!

Good luck with whatever programme you put in place.

This is is not an official recommendation, just simply one mother's account of what worked for us in our meltdown years. It is not an exhaustive list either, I'm sure -at least I hope- some of you have other suggestions to add also? Our son seems to have survived the worst of the meltdown years, although we can still have some mini ones! He knows what to do now and even apologises at times! We are now moving closer to the terrible teen years and second level education and all the additional issues that this will entail. I must not be too comfortable in my rose-tinted glasses and I must regain my focus to concentrate on the new challenges ahead.

If just one sentence, one phrase or even one word I've written here helps one person through their meltdown years then that makes me very happy. My goal will have been accomplished.

This post is written with a special friend in mind.... you know who you are. Stay strong, have hope.

Wordless Wednesday: Killiney Hill

2011-08-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Enya and Bono's Houses I believe?

Get back here NOW!

FitFlops Flop for non-Flip Floppers

2011-08-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I enviously look upon those trendy people wearing their blingified trendy FitFlops every where I look..... in the park, queuing at the supermarket till or traveling through the Airport. How easily they can be worn to dress up or down an outfit.

Don't they look so good?

So trend setting?

So blingified?

That's all very well for those who like to flip flop in style but what if you're like me? What if you cannot wear Flip, or even Fit, Flops? What if you simply cannot abide things... or thongs... between your sensitive little tootsies? What then?

Oh, you have alternatives? Oh goody.... goody-two-shoes. Let's see, do you mean these....

Or these.....

Or even (Good God) these....

Seriously? That's it? Come on Fitflop, surely you can offer us non-toe-thong wearers a better, more blingified alternative?

It's not rocket science. You could still follow your trademark design of starting at the back of the shoe giving a deep V at the front you know. Instead of two bands going straight across you could have them crisscrossing .... and BLINGIFY them. For example, no.1 alternative could have been made nicer material with some bling attached. Ya don't gotta save all the jazzy material for thong toes folk ya know!

Why are us non-thong wearers subjected to boring, brown 'mammy' alternatives? Patent leather clogs really don't cut it with me either!

Any skechers tone ups trend-setting marketeer reading needn't feel too smug either! Here's an example of your alternatives...

Really? Is that the best you can do too? (Admittedly skechers do have some appealing non-tone up models on offer but it's tone ups/shape ups I'm interested in)

Seriously folks, I have been studying this since last summer and have also viewed this summer's offerings here in Ireland, and unfortunately I can see no real differences. Except a €20 hike in prices for FitFlops that is. Dear FitFlop: there is a recession on, in case you haven't noticed.

I am totally fed up of going into numerous shops and being confronted with a wall-to-wall presentation of trendy flip flops with only a small section of slip-on footwear for non-thongers such as myself.

I know flip flips have been on trend for years, centuries even. And I'm not one to buck tradition, even if this does date back to the Egyptians and beyond and perhaps you think what's good enough for Tutankhamen should be good enough for me...

Personally speaking I think it is time for us non-toe-thong wearers to stand up and be counted, so to speak.

Are ye with me, or agin me???

Are you ready to stand up in your non-blingified non-toe-thongs and be counted?

Are you ready to join with me and say.... Blingify me?!

Seriously, I reckon that this is a definite opportunity for shoe manufacturers to fill a niche market. No one else is doing it.

If FitFlops, sketchers or ANY interested shoe manufacturers are reading I'd be more than happy to try out any prototype you have to offer and to review it here for all to read.

Just sayin' like!

xx

Bank Holiday Bonanza

2011-08-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

Summer Time and the livin' is..... hectic! As we stumble through each day trying to think of things to do and places to go to provide an active 11 year old, with alternatives to spending all his time on xbox or wandering aimlessly around the house, declaring to anyone who will listen, how 'soooo bored'' he is.

It cannot be said, by any stretch of the imagination, that this summer is evocative of the long, hazy days of sunshine of our youths. Or perhaps our memories are being a tad selective? Anyway, it's summer.... it's here..... get used to it! Up and at 'em people.....c'mon, find stuff to do!

At least, that's been my attitude to date, but it can be exhausting actually doing the stuff that I come up with!

Thankfully, although WiBoy loves spending time on xbox, he is usually quite open to alternative, attractive suggestions. And it's with that attitude we began our Bank Holiday Weekend...

FRIDAY: Recession-Busting Day Out in Dublin.

This involved a last minute decision to get the Dart into town to pay a visit to our Natural History Museum in Merrion Square. Also wittily known as the Dead Zoo! With lots of stuffed animals and birds, bugs and bees and no admission charge, this was of great interest to WiiBoy. He totally enjoyed it!

I enjoyed it too, but I avoided the bugs and bees bits....ugghh!

We had decided that we'd meet Mr Jazzy after work for tea so we now had some time on our hands and we were hungry. Despite the gathering rainclouds we headed to St Stephen's Green,dancing between the first tentative raindrops as we went, and had our free picnic of popcorn and chocolate on a bench near the fountains and Gazebos. We were soon surrounded by some hungry guests who joined us in our feast..

On guy was really hungry, and none too shy, as was prepared to go to any lengths to get to the spoils..

We whiled away a pleasant hour in this fashion, with WiiBoy totally enthralled. Two more hours to fill though. What to do?

We went through the park to Grafton Street where I was dragged into a couple of mobile phone shops! Then we spotted Ireland's first Disney Store, only open 7 weeks! So in we went and met our Greeter friend who I just remembered worked there, and he gave us some store advice. WiiBoy spent his pocket money and got himself a bargain! I fell in love with the Dublin Mickey Mouse in his little green bag and the Dublin Mickey Mouse mug but alas, I had to leave without them!

We finally tumbled out into the by now sun filled street, just in time for some witty, entertaining street theatre from a very funny guy who juggled. With fire. And a very sharp knife. Whilst riding a unicycle!! Enter: Tremendous Trevor...

The Man Who Played With Fire

The unicycle bit was at the end of the act and there was quite a funny repertoire building up to that point. He needed some help from someone in the audience though. A nice helpful child, with previous stage experience would be nice! You'll never guess who got to help!

Oh, my heart was in my mouth as WiiBoy 'minded' the (unlit...thank goodness!) torches and the very sharp knife, for what seemed like an eternity! I needn't worry though, as Tremendous Trevor kindly reassured me.... 'if your child is injured, don't worry... I will personally help you... to make a new one'!!!

It is a long video clip but it's funny watching WiiBoy! I'm a nervous wreck watching as he tires of holding the items and restlessly toys with them, and my heart is positively in my mouth when Trevor asks him to 'toss the knife' up to him!! So, you might therefore forgive the mad woman laugh, born of nervousness, that you hear in the background!

Well, after the fun and laughter of this act it was time to meet Mr Jazzy! Now, at this point we could have just gone to Mc Donalds or Burger King for a real low cost tea but..well...they don't sell wine! But TGI Friday's do, so we went there instead! There you you can get Beers for only €4 a pint and a large glass of House White for about €4.60, free child re-fills and 2 courses for €15... which makes this very good value indeed.

A very tired threesome subsequently made their way home on the DART...

LAZY SATURDAY

After Friday's exertions wespent this day lazing about but I did manage to drag WiiBoy out for a walk later on in the day. It was on this walk that we met his friend with whom he had a falling out last year. We have no idea what it was about but all difficulties were put aside and they chatted as if they'd seen each other only yesterday!

This made WiiBoy very happy as his friend calls over every day now and he's no longer 'sooo bored'! This is great news but I will have to monitor to avoid any problems ;-)

SWIMMING SUNDAY

I followed through on my plan from my One Night Only post and we went back to the Druids Glen Hotel to lounge in the pool for 2/3 hours whilst Mr Jazzy played golf.

We had to get up at some unearthly hour to get there on time but it was so worth it! A huge success. WiiBoy LOVED the pool and wants to go every week! It was only €15 for a day pass which makes it very good value compared to €11.50 for 40 minutes in our local pool.

And, being a 5 star hotel there was free fruit on offer on the way out! In such good form was WiiBoy that he ate, for the first time ever.....a whole banana....AND some grapes!

We are SO going there every week!

HANGING AROUND MONDAY

Another lazy day on Monday with an impromptu play in his best friend's house followed by a Barbecue for WiiBoy and grocery shopping and a visit to my mam for me!

And so ends our Bank Holiday Weekend, with smiles all round :-)

Whatever we're doing this summer seems to be working and interspersing active days with resting ones seems to be a very good idea.

Coming up with ideas and carrying them through can be tiring but the effects on WiiBoy are amazing.

Anytime we go somewhere that's to his liking his mood is lifted, he's full of chat, animated, in fantastic form...... and open to trying new foods!

So worth the effort :-)

I may plod on with my Summer Bucket List so.

I wonder where we'll go next.....

xx